Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 12/18/2010

Question
QUESTION: Hi doc!

I recently added this girl on facebook. She was in my school last time but we never got the chance to meet before. But she is goodlooking and i want to get together with her. She accepted my friend request and when i talked to her she said she actually knows me. Moreover she was rather responsive so i thought things turned out well. However our conversations are always shortlived because she has to go off the copmuter early. Honestly i think its because we are talking on facebook and defenitely she is the type that does not handg around online for too long. The good thing is we have only been talking for two days so i want to get this sorted out now itself. Personally i prefer talking to her over the phone or meet her in person. So what should i do next in order to get her number? And what should i do to get closer to her after that and be able to ask her out? Please help me out, I don't wanna screw this up. Thanks doc!!

Jacky

ANSWER: Hello Jacky!

You absolutely, positively MUST stop using Facebook as your "dating vehicle" like this! Guys do this all the time and it kills off potential relationships. She'll start seeing you as a coward or worse, not even "real" very soon.

I'm glad you prefer doing things in person. That's the only way to build anything here, trust me.

Get her digits. Use the excuse of wanting to catch up about school and just see what she's been up to. Use the phone only to set up a date - don't try to hold the date on the phone itself (and NEVER, NEVER via texting!!!!)

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi doc!

Tks for yr reply. However i feel it would not be appropriate to use catching up or school as a context to get her number. This is precisely because we have never ever talked to each other before. The only form of communication that has ever happened between us is through the brief conversations on facebook these two days. How else can i get her digits? What should i say when i ask her the next time i talk to her? Tks in advance!

Jacky

Answer
Hello again Jacky!

So what are you looking for, some magic pill or something?

You're going to need some context to connect with this girl. I don't know you're association with her so I can't just pull some magic out of my ass to tell you what you should say. Further, when you're actually on the date, what are you going to do then, come here and ask what the next thing to say is then too?

Jacky, you have to be at least a LITTLE creative here! Come up with some context already! If you can't, forget this girl and move on to someone that you don't care about.

Ok, how about:

"I want to be a fireman and meet you because you're smoking-hot"
"I'm looking for my next great love affair"
"You could be the girl to have my next abortion"
"I really like the font you use on Facebook"
"You have good genes and reproducing hips"

Obviously I'm joking here, but my point is this: what in the hell does it matter what you say? Are you looking for just the right line to make this girl fall in love with you first so that you don't have to do any of the hard work?? You're offering to take this girl out and have a nice time. Is this really that tough??

I mean, come on here man! If she's not worth you putting in even a little effort and coming up with something, then why should I have wasted my time even writing all of this? Could you really be this lazy?

Sheesh!!

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"