Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 2/17/2010

Question
Hi,

I'm 18, just started university.

I met this girl on the net and we met up for coffee as kind of first date / meet.  We got talking and we have absolutely heaps in common, both interests, life goals, travel, outlook, & values.

The next time we met up though, she invited me, but along with a whole group of other friends to her course society's night out. I was kind of hoping that we'd spend time together, which we did, but with her mates. It was a great night, as we left, we were a little tipsy, we hugged and she seemed pretty concerned how I was to get home, even though I only lived 2 miles from town!

I wasn't sure if I had been placed in the just "friends" category or in the "potential boyfriend material" category - difficult to tell - as I'd kind of had been second guessed & confused by being invited to go out with her friends too.

Now, we're meeting up again, but just together this time.  As far as I know, she is single, but it's difficult to know if she likes me back (that is, enough to go out with me as a boyfriend).

How can I tell if she rates me as boyfriend?  Also kind of wondering how to express my interest in her, without 'fessing any feelings this early on.  I'm not the best at reading the 'body language' in girls.

Thank you, Geoff.

Answer
Hello Geoff!

You were placed in the "potential boyfriend" category. That's why she wanted her friends to meet you!

Why in the hell are you worried about all this minutia? Yes, she likes you and is interested to see if she can like you more. Just go and turn on the charm. Don't fret about these things of "why she did" or "why she said", etc. You'll just drive yourself nuts - and her right out the door.

Yes, DO NOT 'fess your feelings for her! All that does is add pressure in an attempt to make her respond. She'll simply resist it and you'll have lost that ploy. Instead, just have fun. Make her laugh, be fun and engaging, etc.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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