Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 2/3/2010

Question
Hello Dr. Dennis W.Neder :)

I'm now about to have a girl's email-address, I love her so much, I've seen her just by photos, I've never met her face to face, even didn't talk to her untill these days, and now I'll have her email, and in order not to make any mistakes during chatting, I'm asking you steps how to deal :), I'm shy by the way, not so sociable, and so is she, but not shy as me. and both are 19 yrs old.

sorry for annoying Dr :)

Answer
Hello Lebron!

Let's start with where you want to go here. I'm assuming that you want more than simply having email exchanges, right? If you start with email, you're likely to get nothing more! There are many problems with this from the fact that you look weak to the fact that she can play all sorts of games with you via email like claiming to not have seen the ones you send her.

The best reason to have her email is to get her phone number. However, this too is a problem - many guys start trying to use texting instead of actually calling the girl and talking on the phone!

Lebron, you need to understand that technology doesn't build relationships - it usually tears them down. If you're really interested in this girl email, IM and even the phone should only be used to setup real, in-person dates - nothing more. If you try to hold your dates using them, you're very likely to ruin any other chance you have.

With regards to being "shy" let me ask you a question: are you "shy" when you're around your friends or family? Of course not!

You want to claim you're shy as though it's some sort of personality disorder. It's not - it's simply a choice.

Let's say that you knew what to say or do in any situation with a girl. Do you think you'd be shy then? No, you wouldn't. That's because you'd have real tools to work with. For instance, you wouldn't see email as some great benefit because you'd be happy to walk right up to this girl and say, "Hey! Let's get to know each other over a drink..."

You see, shyness is about a lack of education only. It's NOT a condition you have to suffer with!

Use the email address to get the phone number and then use the phone number to setup a real, in-person date. Then, go on the date and amaze her with what a great guy you are. Don't try to hold your dates via technology!

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"