Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 2/21/2010

Question
Hi Dr. Dennis W. Neder, I'm happy that you volunteered to answer the questions men have.
I'm now a university student and had been shy since i was born. I have a great difficulty talking to girls, and specially where to put my hands when doing so.
P/s give me some of your advices. Thank you
Yossa

Answer
Hello Yossa!

First of all, you need to get over this misconception that you're "shy". In fact, you aren't. You may CHOOSE to be shy when it works to support your mistaken belief of it, but you weren't "born that way" at all.

Think about this: are you "shy" when you're sitting around talking to your family? Are you "shy" when you're hanging out with your buddies? Of course not!

The only time you're shy is when it works to your advantage so that you have an excuse as to why you aren't doing better with girls! It's time to stop giving yourself permission to act like this and to learn what really works with girls. Then you'll start being successful and you can leave that shyness act back in the dust where it belongs.

As far as your hands, why are you worried about this? Just put your hands on the table, or fold them in your lap. Even better, use them to express your points.

Yossa, there are far more important things to think about than where you put your hands when you're talking to a girl!

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
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