Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 3/2/2010

Question
QUESTION: There is this girl i like. But the problem is that
For the past 6 mths,we have graduated from college. Since then, i have been contacting her on phone but she never called though she usually show appreciation. There was a time that i told her that i expected her to call me back,her excuse was that she dont really make calls but rather receive calls. But after that time she called me once. The fact is that i like her but am afraid to ask her out bcos she has not shown it yet that she has feelings for me. She lives faraway from where i reside. That makes it uneasy 4 me to see her which i know would av been helpfull. I av not called her for close to a month now. Pls hw can i have a progress in winning her heart? Pls i need an urgent reply.

ANSWER: Hello Maxcube!

Forget it. This girl isn't interested in you, she's avoiding you, you've taken way too long to do anything and she's long-distance. There isn't a thing about this that is in your favor!

Look: there are tons of incredible girls right there in your own backyard. Why aren't you working to meet those girls? Why are you fixated on this one girl you can't have? Is this about your ego? Let it go and find someone you CAN have instead.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: The problem is not her being in a far distance because i can get to see her anytime. The problem am having is what to do to impress her. To be point blank, i am a novice in this type of situation. I just found some of her characters unique. Pls suggest a positive solution

Answer
Hello again!

You DON'T impress her! That's a huge mistake in and of itself. What you're trying to do is to make HER do all your work for you. You think that if you impress her enough that she'll fall madly in love with you.

Instead, what'll happen is that she'll start to wonder why; if you're even worth her time, you'd have to work so hard.

However, with that, you said yourself "she lives faraway..." If she lives more than 1 hour's distance from you, you're absolutely wasting your time. You can't want something so badly that you can convince her that she should to. That's simply not how relationships work.

Here's the tie-in: since you can't impress her and she can't be around you on a regular basis (unless you make special plans and she obviously won't even talk to you any more), you have nothing to work with!

Further, you're so focused on her, you've driven her away from you. In effect, you've ruined your chances with her.

Why do you think this girl doesn't call you just to check in? Why do you think she doesn't return your phone calls? Answer: she's not interested in you. You can't "impress" her enough to make her want to do these things! She's already convinced herself (likely due to of the 6 months of lack of activity) that you're not the guy she's looking for.

I'd hate for you to waste ANOTHER 6 months (let alone, 1 year, 2 years or more) only to find out what I'm telling you is right. Think of all the incredible girls you're going to miss that you DO have a chance with during that time!

Get healed and move on.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"