Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 4/28/2010

Question
What’s up I’m Steven age 19 from NY, OK so it all started back when i was 12 in middle school and i met this girl named Naomi in the 7th grade. She was so cute, sweet and very shy  and in few months into knowing her I liked her  a lot . but i had a strange way in showing my affection for her i would always tease her and hit her playfully but she always seem to like it somtimes, but then at one point she had her friend come up to me and ask if i liked her i said no  because Naomi is  a b*t*h , I know that was pretty dumb of me and I regret that. but after that she seem different and we hardly spoke anymore. In the 8th grade she was in a different class and it sucked i hardly seen her but when i did we always had fun together, it felt as though she became a different person when she changed classes and i still liked her but i never told her anything. from time to time we would stop talking and then we would become friends again.so when it was the end of the school year i kissed her and she laugh and told all her friends (embarrassing). i wrote in her year book that i loved her she and laugh and show all her friends :( so the school year ends and we both go our separate ways . so we where both in different high schools, i thought i would never speak to her again. but then Myspace came to my rescue I found her and i still liked her. we started talking again we spoke for a long time but i told how I felt and she never responded.

So i gave up on her and i stop talking to her. so i moved on and by my sophomore year of high school and surprisingly  Naomi start talking to me again. so i was confused but we started speaking again she gave me my her msn and we spoke a few times and then after we never spoke again.  This really made me mad at my success in general with girls so I started to learn how to attract  girls .So when I graduated high school its been 2 years since  I spoke to Naomi but there was not a day she wasn’t  on my mind .So a few month after I finished high school I went on my old msn account and I found her I was surprised that she still had the same msn screen name  after a couple of years so we spoke and flirted a lot and then we shortly became friends on face book. Then I find out she had a boyfriend so I left her alone I didn’t speak to her for a few months. So a  month and a half ago after I see she’s no longer in a relationship  I went and spoke to her again we flirted a lot  and I then I find out that she had a crush on me in middle school , and shortly after I got her phone number and we only had 1 conversation  via text message and she never responded to me after a while of us texting, after a few weeks I was mad because it seem like I was the one who always had to make conversation with her she would never speak to me unless I do first I hate that , so a few weeks ago we spoke on facebook and I said something mean and kind of cocky to her and she never respond after that, we haven’t spoke since.

The problem is that I really do like her and I never stopped she’s always on my mind , im tired of her in and out my life and I wont be satisfied until Naomi is mine, But I don’t understand is there something im doing wrong here? Is she even interested at all?but why is this girl so difficult? It feels like she ignores me on purpose sometimes . Also can you give me some advice on how to start talking to her again.


thanks

Answer
Hello Steven!

Hmmm...is there something you're doing wrong here? Hmmm...let me think....

Yes, there's something you're doing wrong here! You're waiting for her to do all your work for you!

You've gone through all these years and all this energy to tell her you like her, to find out she likes you, to chase her all over the internet and town, and you're still not getting anywhere.

Hmmm...what could be missing?

How about actually asking this girl out on a date already!??????????????????????

Jesus Steven, seriously! What in the hell makes you think that by talking to this girl in every venue in the world is ever going to get her to do all your work for you? Come on here! This is pathetic!

You have this girl's digits, so call her up (DO NOT TEXT HER, DO NOT CONTACT HER ON MYSPACE OR MSN OR FACEBOOK OR IM-A-COWARD-AND-AM-AFRAID-OF-ASKING-YOU-OUT.com - CALL HER!!!!) and tell her you want to get together and have coffee to catch up. Then, kiss this girl (a REAL kiss!) when you see her, throw on the charm and set the next date before the first one has ended.

When are you guys going to learn that technology is your enemy when it comes to dating and trying to build relationships???

Sheesh!

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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