Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 4/19/2010

Question
I've asked this question sometimes before but there is an addition.I am 18. There is this girl that i like. I think she is the ideal girl 4 me. We were mates in  high school but i just got admitted into the university while she is still pursuing hers. We do call each other frequently. I dont know the exact time to tell her my feelings.  What makes me scare is that she is 19,with principles and i knew of about 2 cases when she rejected guys offer. I dont even know how to tell her. But recentry i gathered the courage to tell her that i have feelings for her which i have for people i care about. She only said that 'OK'. But i dint tell her that 'i love u'. Pls i will be glad if you can suggest what i can do next to get more affection from her.

Answer
Hello Deewhy!

Of course she only said "ok". What else was she supposed to do with that???

You have very likely ruined your chances with this girl permanently. This was a very, VERY dumb move!

Think about my question: what was she supposed to do with that information? You wanted her to go, "Oh Deewhy! I feel the same way!!!!" and then, you wouldn't take any risks or have to do any more work because she'd have done all the heavy lifting for you.

That's the most ridiculous belief there is!

Deewhy, if dating and relationships where this simple; if this has ever worked in the history of mankind, everyone would simply go around telling everyone else that they liked them and I'd be out of a job. That's just not the way it works! We have a very complicated "mating ritual"; honed over millions of years and you wanted to just circumvent all of that and go right to the "like you" part.

In fact, this shows you are not only unsophisticated, but lazy as hell! Do you really think that any of those are things that turn women on? They know damn well that it's your job to move things forward. They know damn well that you have to not only do the things to start building something between you, but do the RIGHT things at the same time. They not only know these things, they demand them.

You, on the other hand, wanted to go right for the prize without any of the work or risk. This is the greatest turn-off there is to women! Even if she might have been interested in you before, it's very unlikely now.

So, what other dumb thing do you want to do next? Do you want to go tell her that you have a huge dick? Do you want to go show her your muscles? Do you want to find some way to impress her so that she'll do even MORE of your work???

She's won't.

At this point, you're likely screwed. You only have one play and that's to go ask her for her number so you can call her up for a date. Don't be surprised if she turns you down, but hope for the best.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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