Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 5/15/2010

Question
QUESTION: 2 weeks age my cousin triped to us.it was first time i saw her & i felt some thing about her.but at the second time i felt something more & i took her email.when she went i sent an email for her and asked if we got more connection occasionally & he gave me her facebook name.
then i sent two email.in second email i told her i have created my facebook accunt((facebook is filterd in our region))please add me! and then tomorrow she just added me & didnt tell me anything else!!she also didnt sendback my first email.i just sent a message in facebook & appreciated her to add me in her list.((she only got 25 freinds)).i didnt tell her anything directly about my feelings.i just tried to make eyecontacts in my two first visits & make her speak about her trips & just listening to her.
now im feling ANGUISH & cant stop thinking of her.i wanna make a relationship.i love her...sh is so faraway from me.
-how can i know if she single!!!?
-how can i know if she interested in me?`
-how can i show her my love?!
-did i blow something?
-how much chance i have?  

best rgard

ANSWER: Hello Tristan!

It sickens me how your country filters and oppresses this stuff. Off the subject I know but I just had to say it.

First off, this is a long-distance relationship ("LDR") situation and you need to understand that LDR's simply don't work out. There are a ton of reasons for all of this I won't get into here, but suffice it to say, this isn't going to work for you.

Further, there are a TON of incredible girls right there in your own backyard! Why are you wasting your time on something that will never happen? Come on here Tristan! Don't do this! The reality is that you have no chance here. Sorry to deliver the bad news, but it far better I tell you this now than you wasting possibly years of your life only to find out what I'm telling you is true.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: you right dr.Dennis.but i wanna be respectful to my self & my emotions & tears!!i got some feelings that made me Heartsick.i losed 3 kg of may weight just in a week!!so if this s what that never will happen, i dont wanna be a dead like moving!i wanna tell her about my feelings. no matter even she doesnt respond my Email.but i wanna see maybe i immigrate to her country at 4 year later & i ill need their helps & devotion to build my life overthere.now the questions are:
.does it hurts our next terms between us & herself & her families?
.could you help me what kind of sentences & phraseology should i use to do it rightly as this will be my last email!!?

best wishes.tristan

Answer
Hello again Tristan!

There is nothing "respectful" about trying to fool yourself. I know this hurts, but you need to come to the realization that what I'm saying is true, get healed and move on. Do you know yours if the FORTH question like this I've answered so far this morning??? I know there are more waiting for me!

If it isn't blocked by your country, go to my video website (http://BeingAMan.tv) and click on "Video" then "Self Help" and watch the video on LDR's for more on this.

I want you to take a few minutes to understand what you're asking of me here. I'm in the business of helping people (like you!) with these problems. I see it as my job to guide you and to get you to the point where you can have the best that life offers.

You're asking me to help you string out all this pain - possibly indefinitely! What sort of cruel humanitarian would I be if I actually helped you hurt yourself like this over and over again?

Tristan, I'm sorry, but you've got to accept this fact: this is NEVER going to work! No amount of hoping and praying and wishing is going to change that fact. There is just far too much working against you. For every dream you have of making this work, there are 100 that will prevent it from ever working!

I simply can't do that to you Tristan. I don't know you but I can't bring myself to allow you to continue to hurt yourself like this. I know it's extremely painful where you are right now - I've been there myself. However, if I give you even a small glimmer of hope, it's just going to go on and on for possibly years. I can't let you do that! You don't deserve this pain, and you certainly don't deserve to have it last all those years while you wither away.

You've got to deal with this right now. You've got to come to grips with the reality of the situation. Relationships are tough enough and you want to heap on the greatest barrier to having one there is - distance! Please, please don't do this to yourself.

Get through all the pain and get healed right now. Don't let this linger on for years. You deserve better than that, but you've got to heal and be able to have it when it comes - and it will. I care that you're hurting and I'm not going to let you prolong this agony even one second longer than it takes.

If you can't deal with this on your own, go get some help. Tristan: trust me on this.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"