Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 5/18/2010

Question
QUESTION: Hi, i really like this girl at school and we are in the sme math class but we don't sit near each other. occasionally she asks me to come over and help her but this is only about one a week. this has only staerted happening since i purposely waited to walk to class with her and one of her friends said oohh you've got a secret admirer. i quickly turned down the idea because i was put on the spot and didn't know what to say. we are both 15  but im not very funny and not that confident but i am a great listener and very caring.
I would really appreciate your help. Thankyou.

ANSWER: Hello Scott!

Appreciate my help with what?

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: sorry. I would like to know what i should now e.g talk to her more, ask her out, or whatever. Thanks

ANSWER: Hello again Scott!

You need to ask her out to do something fun. However, when you "ask", do it intelligently. In fact, don't "ask" at all, "tell".

Here's how:

First, find something fun to do. Here it is spring and I'm sure your town as some fun things going on right now. Look around. It doesn't have to be some big, huge thing - even just a picnic or something like that where you can get to know each other. For that reason, don't go to a movie or concert however. You need "face time" so that you can really turn on the Scott-Charm here.

When you find something just say, "Hey, you and I need to go have some fun! There's this fair next weekend [or whatever] that I'm going to take you to. Here, write down your number and I'll call you next week with the details, but clear up Saturday."

See how I didn't "ask" her if she wanted to go? I just assumed that she did and took her right to the point where she is giving me digits. By getting the number I'm also getting her agreement to go! It's that simple Scott.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thanks for the advice but i dont think that i have the guts to ask her because i dont really know her that well. also i live in Brisbane, Australia so it is Autumn and there is nothing on to even if i did ask her. i was thinking on telling a mutual friend about the situation but im not shure how to tell her because it would be wierd to just go up to her and say "I like ..." also any advice on being more confident.
Scott.

Answer
Hello again Scott!

You don't have the guts to ask her out? That's fine, I'm sure someone else will then.

Even in Autumn in Brisbane, there are a ton of fun things to do.

Scott: you need to get this fixed. Don't try to convince yourself that she has to be totally attracted to you so that you won't fail. That's not how this all works. You have to learn to BUILD attraction in someone and it's not hard to do at all!

Think of how many other guys are in your own situation. They are terrified of getting shot down just as you are and so they do nothing. It's the guy that takes just the smallest risk (and trust me, this is a tiny, tiny one!) to stand out from the crowd and go after what he wants.

Scott, go take a look at my FAQ's on my website (http://BeingAMan.com). From there, click on "self help" and you'll find them.

Be bold - the mighty forces will come to your aid!

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"