Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 6/30/2010

Question
Hi, m Indigo. I have a crush on a girl recently who studies at the same college as i do. I haven't talked with her till now. I want to talk with her but don' know how to start. I talked with her sister about it but she said she is not that kind of girl. So i dont know what to do. Please please tell me what to do cause i love her so much.

Answer
Hello Indigo!

She's not "that kind of girl"??? What kind of girl is she then? Does she have a penis or something???

So what is her sister saying exactly? That she doesn't want her meeting some great guy and being happy the rest of her life? Come on here Indigo. Don't worry about the sister. It's not her call to make.

Instead, think of "context". Specifically, what do you and this girl share that gives you a reason to approach her? It doesn't have to be anything big at all; even the smallest thing is enough for context.

For instance, you both go to the same school. Maybe you even have the same class or instructor or are studying the same thing. What about being interested in what she's studying?

All of these things are plenty of context to set up your initial approach. You use that context to break the ice with her. Just walk up and say, "Hi, I'm Indigo. You're [her name], right?" Then, you launch into your context for approaching her and ask her about it.

It's that simple.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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