Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 6/4/2010

Question
QUESTION: So i met this girl a few weeks ago at work. i visit different car dealerships every week and she is the new receptionist at one of them. i gave her my number a few weeks ago but she said she lost it. she gladly gave me her number the next time i saw her. i have been messaging her the last few days, mostly little flirtatious stuff. when i go in next, i want something small to give to her, was thinking a single rose and just say i found it and thought i would give it to her. but i don't want to go with this idea. i want something a little more subtle, just wondering what you could suggest? thanks.

ANSWER: Hello Mark!

Wow...let's see if we can find another dozen ways to completely ruin anything between you and she, shall we?

Crap Mark! Really? You gave her your number? Strike one! Don't you know any better? OF COURSE she's going to lie to you about losing your number! It's not her job to call you - it's yours and she damn well knows it. So, you've set her up to lie to you and that's how everything between you has started - with a lie.

Now, instead of being a man, and doing something with the number you got lucky to get the second time, you're texting her? Strike two! Mark, texting KILLS OFF potential relationships! I deal with this problem every single day.

Now, you're going for the trifecta by giving her a gift she didn't earn - and lying about where it came from!

Mark, don't be an idiot. You obviously have no idea what you're doing here. That's not my fault, I'm simply the messenger. It's because you haven't bothered to get educated on just how dating really works. So instead, you're doing all the things that chumps do. Do you seriously think this girl isn't picking all this up?

If you want to stay in this fantasy world where any of this would actually work, be my guest. I'm sure you'll have a good laugh about it later when you think of the cute girl you totally blew out of the water by making every mistake in the book.

Hey! Here's a revolutionary idea! What if you actually used those digits to call her up and ask her out on a real date? Or instead, what if you asked her out when you see her?

Hmm....maybe that's just too obvious?

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I may not have been detailed enough. When i gave her my number. it was her first day working. She was getting trained by the other receptionist. I wrote my name and number on a piece of paper, went up to her, said "happy Friday", gave it to her, and left. When i went in a couple weeks later, i said, "so what, did you love my number?". she was like, "i actually did!" i looked at her for a few seconds as i didn't believe her. then she said, enthusiastically, "but you can have mine!" so i said i would call her sometime during the weekend. i called a couple days later and she did not pick up, so i left a message. she texted me a couple hours later, and that is where the texting started. i hope that sheds some light on how it all started and why things are the way they are now. so, any ideas of a good gift? thanks.

ANSWER: Hello again Mark!

And you think that cowardly act makes things better? You ran up and threw your number at her???

You were damn lucky that she actually gave you her number after this. Frankly, there aren't many girls in the world that would do that and you happened to find the one. That's not a gift however! I'd hate to imagine why she'd be willing to do that.

That texting thing isn't a good excuse either. Texting is the absolute least thing you can do! She did it in order to not look too interested - and you continued letting her do it. Think about this: what sort of message are you implanting in her mind?

Even now, you're STILL thinking of gifting her?

Mark, seriously, you may be beyond my help. Go do it your way then.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: alright, so what do you suggest from this point?

Answer
Hey Mark!

You walk up to her at work and say, "I'm going to get to know you better! Let's have a drink next Friday night. What's better for you, 8 or 9?"

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"