Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 7/1/2010

Question
I went out shopping today, and whilst my friend was outside smoking, i was looking and trying out clothes. Soon a women aproached & asked me to wear a certain peice of clothing again so she could see if it looked nice. During this time, i asked where she's from & found out she's Persian (i'm 1/2 persian). She was suprised at this and i used this to my advantage, getting to know her name, age, where she lives etc. After some time, i asked for her number & she gave it to me. I said i would call her soon & she replied defintely!
Now this was today - so my question is do i phone or SMS her? I would like to meet her again, so what do i do ?
She is 35, & i'm 20 (but i did't tell her my age)...

Answer
Hello Dany!

DO NOT SMS HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dany, texting KILLS OFF potential relationships! Please don't do this. You can't build what you need in 140 characters. You absolutely HAVE to call her.

First, give her a few days. Tomorrow or the day after is fine. When you do call her, simply remind her who you are and where you met. Maybe even thank her for helping you pick out some clothes (if she did) but get to the point of the call right away - to set up a date. Don't try to hold your date on the phone - only do it in person.

If you call her and get her voice mail, don't leave a message. Give her about 2-4 days and try again. If you get her voice mail again, don't leave a message this time either. Wait another 2-4 days and try once again. This time, simply tell her who you are and leave your number for her to call you back.

When you set up the date, be clear on when, where and what - DO NOT ask her what she wants to do and don't agree to "hang out". These are all classic mistakes you're not going to make - right? Instead, just say, "I'm looking forward to seeing you again so we can pick up where we left off. Which night is better for you, Friday or Saturday?" (or whenever).

Then, go have a great time, turn on the charm and build even more rapport and connection with her.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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