Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 9/1/2010

Question
I was perusing the section that you are listed in and the first person I read had problems got and answer and didn't like it. He made some disparaging remarks about you (but no cursing. So in your response you proceeded to curse with the "f word". Why a Doctor who is supposed to be counseling would resort to vulgarity in response no matter what the client may say lacks in professional conduct, don't you think? If you were to counsel this way at a clinic or formal setting, would there not have been an issue brought by those who ran the place. I realize this is a free advice place but still some level of professional decorum by a doctor should be maintained.  I do understand later after his apology you were quite courteous. But the first part should have never happened that way. You can be firm with out the cursing. Just an observation.

Answer
Hello David!

Who exactly are you with - the profanity police? Do you think it's your job to peruse the internet and make sure that everyone is conforming to YOUR PERSONAL sensibilities? Did I offend you?

Let me tell you what offends me: people that think they are the only ones that have a lock on "civil society" and thus, want to dictate the standards by which everyone else should live, work, speak, think, etc.  "Four letter words" are still words - and ones that convey ideas often with impact and even humor.

This board isn't a clinic or a formal setting. I'm a volunteer here, but far more important, I'm an EFFECTIVE volunteer. You may not like what I have to say or the way I say it and that is your right. Here's what's not your right: telling me how to do what I've done for many, many years - and done extremely well if I do say so myself. The more than 31,000 answers I've given and the constant stream of letters of support and thanks I receive are testaments to that.

I speak to people using vernacular language; not dry, staid "doc-speak". If you want that, check out Dr. Phil or Dr. Oz or Dr. Doolittle or... You'll get a ton of feel-good advice (and very little real substantive help), but at least you'll feel ok about it. By "ok" I mean "bland" and not offended.

The point is that I've built my success on methods that; while unorthodox, actually reaches the people I'm helping. If it's not for you and your corset-wearing, high-collar, button-up boot tastes, then I suggest you not read anything I ever write again.

In other words, if it's not too indelicate and I don't damage your wido-biddy feewings, may I suggest (with the greatest kindness and sincerity I can offer) that you fuck off?

Just an observation.   ;)

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
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