Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 1/5/2011

Question
ok this is how my story... i was really popular at my old high school and i am very picky with the girls i choose so i only had a few girls that most would do anything 2 have... but then i met my dream girl... she is like so much different then the others thats why im so attracted 2 her ... well we got close then rumors messed up the relationship.. i was soooo devestated ... then we didnt talk for like half a year.... i moved to a different county 20 mins away... i went to one of my friends christmas partys and i saw her and confronted her and she said "o my god" and gave me a hug... we went outside and it was cold but she didnt have a coat all the guys were asking her if she needed theirs and she said "no" so i went next to her and had my arm wraped around her and she was in my coat with me...then i was talking 2 her until she had to leave... i got her number and text her like everyday... and im going to be visiting her on the weekends ... i might just move back after this school year... how do i get her to like me more???

Answer
Hello William!

First of all STOP THE TEXTING ALL THE TIME!!!! This is absolutely going to KILL OFF any potential relationship! William, trust me on this point. I see it all the time. You're trying to hold your dates via texting and technology. That is going to ruin things (again) before they even get started.

Second, you need to spend some quality face-time with this girl. She's obviously interested. You just need to move this along. That means you need to make time to get with her, have fun, kiss her, etc.

These things (so far) are about "dating". In order to turn that into a real relationship you need two more things: habit and expectation.

For instance, if you have the habit of seeing each other 2 or 3 times a week, and have the expectation that you'll spend important dates together like birthdays, holidays, etc., you have a relationship.

The next significant date coming up is probably going to be Valentine's Day. You should be working now to have that one put together between you two. Yes, it seems like a long way off, but if you continue the texting garbage, you're going to lose her - and that opportunity - before it even gets here.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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