Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/25/2011

Question
Hi Dr Denis..thanks in advance for your help. I saw this really cute girl on facebook and sent her a friend request which she accepted. I now want to break the ice by sending her a nice first message(would really like to go out with her)..she lives in my area and we both go to the same university. If you could please give me any advice or ideas please help..thanks again
Bill

Answer
Hello Bill!

First, let me tell you what NOT to do:

Don't:
* contact her expecting her to fall in love with you and do all your work for you.
* wait around and see if she contacts you first
* send her anything with a stupid compliment like, "Ohhh...you're so HOT!"
* try to misdirect things
* act like you're not interested in her - she already probably knows it
* wait until she's "attracted" to you
* "ask her" - tell her ("Let's get together..." not "Do you want to get together...")
* agree to confirm later on

Do:
* use "context" (what do you have in common with her?) like the fact that you go to the same university
* be direct and specific about what you want
* be relaxed and courteous
* pick a specific time and location - be absolutely clear

Your best approach is simply to contact her and suggest that you and she meet to talk about the university. Tell her that you want to hear about her experiences, how she likes the school, etc.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO/Executive Producer
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