Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/21/2011

Question
Hello Doc
My name is Alex, I live in Mexico and I'm falling for this girl

I met her in my job and quickly became friends, at first I wasn't really interested in her other than friendship. But after talking with her and going out a few times, I quickly fell in love with her feelings, her voice, her smell, everything really.

But the relationship started as friends, and we talked about our past relationships, I even met her before she broke with her boyfriend (about three months). She is now available, and of course I know talking about relationships is not a great idea, but never thought of her like that... at least in the beginning.

I'm not a particularly shy guy but sometimes around lots of people and specially around her I am. I have some female friends and know how to get along with women, at least the ones I think of as only friends. But this girl is so different! So I decided to buy her a rose and make a compilation of her favorite music. She loved it but told me to stay friends with her.

I've talking to her in facebook but is not the same, she is always polite but I think she's afraid of me or something...

I'm stuck here, really... she is a great girl and I want to go out again, just show her who I am as a man, not only a friend.

Answer
Hello Alex!

Of course she's afraid of you. Instead of actually moving things somewhere, you tried to pull the old gift-trick. She doesn't want to date someone that is a coward and can't take action when he knows he wants something or someone - which you told her you were when you tried the tricks instead of doing what you needed to do.

Now, you're in the friend-zone. Do you have any idea how incredibly difficult it is to turn this into something more than just friends??? You probably had a great chance when you first met her. Now, you're very, very unlikely to do that.

I know you don't believe me and don't care about reality, so just go to my website and under the "Articles" link, read my FAQ's. You'll find 3 articles linked there to explain all of this.

When, oh when are guys going to stop looking for magic tricks and start doing what REALLY works????

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO/Executive Producer
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