Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 3/22/2011

Question
Hi, I am still in love with a previous employee, who quit two months ago. I still think about her all the time and I cannot handle being with her around; we have not communicated since she left. She is half my age - 25 - and while she worked here for almost two years there was nothing said or done directly regarding my attraction, except for indirect innuendos, jokes and "secret" things I did, like give her diamond earnings as a secret Santa- which was never acknowledged; mostly she ended up being turned off by my inconsistent behavior at work. She left on reasonably amicable terms, saying it was just time to move on. There were hints she had some feelings for me, and we got along great mostly, until the last year when I started to have wild mood swings because of my almost uncontrollable feelings, that drove me into suicidal depression at times. I am very unhappily married, and want desperately to get together with her and see if she will have me. What do you think?

Answer
Hello Steve!

I don't know what you're asking me here. Do you want to know if you should pursue this? Do you want to know how to get over her? Do you want to know how to have her? Do you want to know if you should stay in your unhappy marriage?

It's obvious that you've made a TON of mistakes here. To what degree I can't say, but you may very well have destroyed any chances you may have had with her after 2 years with nothing to show for it.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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