Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 3/28/2011

Question
I went out with this girl and she broke up with me to go out with this other guy. and i really liked her and she broke my heart. and i really want to get her back. what do i do to get her back????

Answer
Hello Kene!

First thing you should do is to start dating other people. Nothing is so compelling to a woman as having other women interested in you. No, I'm not kidding.

You need to know why she broke up with you. I'm not taking about the dumb, "Well, I'm just not sure what I want right now" which translates to "I'm not sure what I want right now, but I know it isn't you!"

Instead, you need to know what she is looking for. Don't assume by the way. If she's even willing to talk to you about it, you need to drill down to the real issues and then be realistic as to whether or not you can make those changes naturally.

There are many types of changes you CAN'T make or that will not be sustainable because they aren't really you. Ultimately, you have to decide whether she was really worth all of this in the first place.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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