Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 4/24/2011

Question
Hello,

I am in a tough spot. I have been interested in this girl for a while now, and need some advice. We are both in ninth grade,and we go a small school (15 people in our entire grade). I am friends with her, and I really want to take it to the next level. I expressed interest in her before, last year, and her reaction was less than desirable. I have invited her to go the upcoming dance with me, though only as friends. I still do not know if she will go with me. My intention was to spark a relationship with her. Unfortunately, I have also grown attached to this Girl in question, and find this situation to be stressful. Is there any hope? Will she ever Like me? What do I have to do?

Thanks

Answer
Hello Andrew!

Yes, her reaction wasn't desirable - because YOURS wasn't right. Expressing an interest in someone is only an attempt to get them to do your work for you. That's how she saw it as well.

Andrew, this is a great time to really get this figured out: it's YOUR job to move things forward with girls you're interested in. That means you need to take actions to make that happen. You can't tell a girl you like her and then expect that she'll just swoon all over you and make everything easy while yo take no risks.

Why don't you know if she'll go to the dance with you? When you asked her, you didn't wait for an answer? Or, worse, did you ask her via email or text or something?

If she told you she'd have to think about it, I'd go ask someone else and let her not have anyone to go with. That's very rude on her part.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"