Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 6/7/2011

Question
QUESTION: For the last year i have been trying to improve myself physically. During this time i have been in the gym working out hard, have a new hairstlye and have gotten a tan. I've just turned 21. Compared to a year ago, i look much better. However, girls now seemed to be interested in me - they would ignore me back then, but now they keep looking / smiling at me. It could be happening in a club or restuarant...
So my question is how do i deal with this attention? I used to be shy but am slowly improving my confidence, but need help when girls showing interest?

ANSWER: Hello Dan!

I absolutely don't get your question here. Are you asking how to avoid the attention? Are you asking how to respond to it? What do you want with these girls?

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: how do i respond to it? somnetimes i would look away because i'm shy to make eye contact. My aim is to get more confidant and confortable around them, but i don't know how to do this. If girls keep looking or glancing at me, how do i walk over to speak to them when im shy, and what do i say to them ?

Answer
Hello again Dan!

You keep using the S-Word ("shy"). Dan, you're not "shy", you're scared and that's a very different thing.

I make this distinction because it's important to understand what you're going after here. Think about this: are you "shy" when you're around your friends? Are you "shy" when you're at work and doing something you know well?

Of course not.

You act shy because it gives you an excuse as to why you're not doing better with girls, why you don't (you mistakenly think "can't") approach them, etc. In other words, you become shy when it works for the model you have in your mind. The trouble is, this model isn't reality - it's ONLY in your mind.

This all comes down to simple education. Since you haven't done much (if any) practice in approaching women, you are scared of the outcomes. You likely imagine getting rejected, not having anything to say, looking foolish, etc.

Now, consider the other side. Let's say that you knew what to say and how to approach. You knew in your own noggin that you could handle any girl you approached and any situation you were in. Would you still be "shy"? Of course not. This is why being shy is a choice for your - NOT a condition. You've chosen to be shy instead of learning what you need to know in order to fix this condition permanently for you. So, how many more years of your life are you going to continue using this excuse?

The problem is that I can't give you all this knowledge via these messages. It's not that this information is complicated - it's not. It's just that there is a lot of it. The good news is that I don't have to! I have already written it all down in my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II". Sorry for the sales pitch, but this is the next step for you. You can either try to do this all through trial-and-error (and get your nuts handed to you) or you can learn what really works - and why - in one concise package.

Dan, you're at the perfect age and the perfect place in your life right now to have these skills.

Or, you can just claim to be "shy" and not have to learn anything new.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"