Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 8/10/2011

Question
Now I am asking this question for a friend of mine.  I have gotten help from you in the past that was very helpful and thought you might have some good advice for my friends situation.

He had his first girl friend this past semester in college.  Unfortunately she was bat shot crazy, and he put up with it.  She dumped him 4 times for the stupidest reason I had ever heard, and then got back together with him.  I told him he shouldn't have taken her back after the first time she dumped him.

But any way, basically his first experience was a bad one.  Now he has his eyes set on his friend.  I told him that trying to start a relationship with your friend usually never works.  But he decided that he would be really happy with her.  He wants to play it from the inside and just be her friend until something happens.  But you and I both know that will never work.

I told him that he should make himself scarce for a while and then ask her out on a real date and use the opening kiss technique.  

The only thing is that he is not willing to lose her friendship either.  But that is a risk he will have to take if he wants to go down this road.  SO what is the best way for him to go about turning his friend into a girlfriend?  

I don't know if he is completely friend zoned yet, but based on what he told me it sound like it.  She texts him randomly (which is what girl do with eachother)  they talk about their relationships with one another, and they hang out a lot.  She did send him a thoughtful gift the other day, and he sent her one as well, so maybe that is a sign that she likes him, although girls send eachother gifts all the time.

So what advice should I give my friend that would be best for this situation.  I know that he can't work it from the inside, but he also can't move in to boldly in case she doesn't feel that way for him yet.

Answer
Hello Allen!

I'm sorry - I don't do "pass-through's". If your friend needs help, he needs to come here (or go to my website) and ask for it. If he's not seeking help on his own, he's not ready to receive it. You're too close to the situation to help him and further, without all the other, underlying foundation there's no way for you to know WHY, (LET ALONE WHAT) something is important or not.

The very best you can do as his friend is to direct him to this site or my website to get the help he needs.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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