How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams/What does this mean?

Advertisement


Question
QUESTION: Hi,
There is this girl in my school who i do not know well. In fact i know her for barely a week and that too tjrough a group project. Well i actually have spoken to you about this before and you told me to be direc tand bold. So i wanted to ask her to join me for dinner after lesson in school. But as i was talking to her and about to ask her, two of her guy friends and some of my friends came around. So i felt it was not right to ask her then. I then messaged her to let her know that i wanted to ask but couldnt because she was distracted. So i asked her what time she ends her lessons the next day. But she didnt even reply at all. I intend not to send another text to her till she replies. Do u think what i am doing is right? Also, could you explain why she didnt even reply, even to say she doesn't want to come for lunch with me? Thanks

ANSWER: Hello Bob!

I think you blew your chance with her when you were talking to her alone. Then, texting her was a second failure. If she doesn't respond now, what's your next move? (Answer: you have none.) Thus, yes, you have to wait to see if she'll respond and if she doesn't, it's game over.

I don't know her. I can't tell you why she didn't reply. There are 1001 different possible reasons why. Frankly, it doesn't matter.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi,
Thanks for your reply. The girl did reply back, saying she's got alot of school stuff to do for this week. I then replied her saying its cool. I intend not to text her again after this, as i dont want to come off looking needy and desperate. Do you think what i did is right? Is it game over?

Also, another thing i want to ask you about is love. What is true love? And how do you differentiate love and infatuation. This is because i want to make sure that i am guided by something more honest and stronger than infatution when i chase a girl.

ANSWER: Hello again Bob!

No, I don't think it's game-over with this girl, but I *DO* think you have no more room for mistakes.

What is love? Song writers, poets, script writers and many others have spent eons trying to answer that very same question. I doubt I'm going to do much better in this simple response, but the very best definition I've ever heard of what love is, is simply this:

Love is when you care more about the safety, happiness, well-being, etc. of someone else than you do even for yourself.

That's really the difference between love and infatuation: love is selfless - it's all about the other person. Infatuation is selfish - it's all about you.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi,
Thank you for your reply. Since you mention there are no room for mistakes, what is the next thing that i should do correctly?

Also, i feel that i cannot be seeking someone else's help all the time. I have to be independant as i am the one who is going to spend time with the girl. So is the ultimate solution just to be myself all the time and just follow my gut feeling? Or do i need to learn some techniques or "skills" to pick up a girl or to play the "game" with the girl? If it is the latter, why so?

Lastly, thank you so much for your time. I hope that i will be able to handle things on my own from now on, and i hope i would be good enough that i never have to ask you another question again. Thanks!

Answer
Hey Bob!

You're asking me to tell you a "next move" based on knowing almost nothing about your situation, the girl, what you have or haven't done, etc., etc. I can't possibly tell you what your next move would be other than to try to set up a date.

You're absolutely correct! You can't keep going back for what I call "progressives" - step-by-step actions. This never works because there are just too many variables involved. We're talking about human beings here, not computers. For any one action you take she could take any of 1001 different actions. Then, when you respond to one of those, you'll have yet another 1001 possibilities, and so on and so on. It's impossible to plan for all the outcomes.

Instead, you need to have some critical foundational understanding about men, women, dating, sex and relationships. You need to understand how men and women differ in communications, actions, thoughts and other things - and then be able to react naturally to that knowledge.

In short, what you need is education. It's that simple!

That's why I write books. All of this education is contained in my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II and III", ("BAM1", "BAM2" and "BAM3"). These books tell you exactly those things about the differences and the similarities. They explain not just technique, but WHY something is true. If you know WHY you can very easily figure out the WHAT.

In fact, this has nothing to do with "just being yourself" ("JBY" - something I talk about in BAM2). It's about being your "right self" at the right time. You aren't just one note. You're an entire symphony of notes and have all of those tools to use whenever you need them. The trick is knowing which tools to use for which situations - all without having to change who or what you are.

Thus, this isn't about "just being yourself". It's about being your "best, most effective self" when the situation calls for it. Yes, learning some basic skills and techniques can help you but only if you already know the rest of the song! Techniques by themselves get you absolutely nowhere.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Dr. Dennis W. Neder

Expertise

I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, dating and sex, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers from all over the world. I'm able to answer literally any question regarding dating, finding and approaching women, sex, getting phone numbers, setting dates, what to do on dates, how to set them (and make sure she shows), dealing with dating problems, conversion from dates to relationships, etc. Check my website at: http://beingaman.com for much more. If your question is particularly sensitive you can email me privately and securely at: dwneder@beingaman.com.

Experience

Having helped over 30,000 people with their issues, I'm certainly qualified to help you with yours. I don't take the "feel good" approach at all. I'm direct and that comes from experience and research into what really works.

Education/Credentials
Doctor of Philosophy

Past/Present Clients
Many thousands ... and millions of readers all over the world.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.