How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams/Clubbing


Hi doc,

Well its been awhile since i went clubbing. I will be going again soon but i want to make sure i get to socialise with a girl at least. So if i am on the dance floor, and a girl is dancing near me, how should i get to dancing with that girl. Should i approach her and ask her? Or should i just dance with her straightaway instead. Because there was once i just started grinding a girl from the back and we danced together for very long that night, but i am not sure it works with all women.

Also in talking to women outside the dance floor, how do i appraoch them? I am afraid that i might be too nervous and end up screwing up instead.

Thanks for your time, regards!

Hello Ryan!

Bars and clubs are the #1 and #2 worst places there are to meet women. The reality is; you need some very specialized skills to do well at these places. They are very artificial and unnatural places to meet. Consider just this one fact: where else could you go where there might be 3-4 girls you'd like to meet and 50 drunk, horny guys all trying to do the same thing? Women have all the power in these places - and you have none. You have to learn how to turn all of that around to your favor.

Thus, if you're looking to build your approach and pick-up skills, these aren't the places to do that unless you already have a solid education. Many guys do what you're trying to do only to have their egos severely damaged out of pure ignorance.

Here's the unfortunate part: I can't "educate" you about all of this via this message board! Having a few tips is going to do far more harm than good because you won't know why any of it is true or what to do in any particular situation!

Ryan, if you want to learn to use bars, clubs (and for that matter, the internet) to meet women you need to see this as a study. The good news is that you can learn these skills! (That's all they are by the way - no "magic" involved.) You can check out my "Hunting Seminar on DVD" for a comprehensive education on all of this.

With that said, you don't "approach" women on a dance floor. You have to do it BEFORE that. You DO NOT want to be the jackass who is dancing all by himself trying to hit on women. Women absolutely know to avoid those guys.

As to that grinding thing: don't do it! You got lucky once but I'll bet the girl was pretty drunk. That's not "skill" at all and you still wound up going home with you and your hand.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder


I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, dating and sex, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers from all over the world. I'm able to answer literally any question regarding dating, finding and approaching women, sex, getting phone numbers, setting dates, what to do on dates, how to set them (and make sure she shows), dealing with dating problems, conversion from dates to relationships, etc. Check my website at: for much more. If your question is particularly sensitive you can email me privately and securely at:


Having helped over 30,000 people with their issues, I'm certainly qualified to help you with yours. I don't take the "feel good" approach at all. I'm direct and that comes from experience and research into what really works.

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