How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams/Did I lose her??


There is a girl that I used to have a class with that I’m attracted to. I dropped the class after the first few weeks, so I didn't get too much time to talk to her, but I do see her every now and then around campus.

Recently I saw her at a party I went to, but I was really drunk and can’t really remember a thing we talked about. I walked her home after the party because it was late really late, and I remember telling her exactly how I felt about her. I can't remember how she reacted or anything. I do remember her telling me about her ex and how they'd just got out of a long term relationship.

I added her on Facebook the next day, and we had a really short conversation. Our responses to each other were hours apart, then all of a sudden, she stopped replying. I waited a week or so then tried again, and still nothing. We weren't talking about anything crazy either.

I seen her recently at a school event and we both just kind of ignored each other. As she was leaving, she stopped to ask me how I was doing, but left right after I replied and she replied to me asking her back.

Do you think I missed the ball here? I almost feel like my opportunity was the night of the party, but I was way too drunk to think to ask her out or for her phone number. Any suggestions?

ANSWER: Hello Eugene!

Yes, you missed the ball. Yes, the party was your opportunity but you blew that too by confessing your feelings to her. After all; what was she supposed to do with that? It's not her job to move things forward - it was yours, and trust me, she knows it. Then, instead of dealing with things you let them sit. You tried to FB-friend her and hoped that she would do things to help you. Again, not her job.

Frankly, at this point, you have no play. You've given up all your power and all of your options hoping that she would perform to your script. She's simply not going to do that.

The best and only option you have now is to contact her IN PERSON - NOT via FB or any other disconnected way - and try to do what you should have done originally. Get her digits and try to set up a date. To be completely honest, I doubt she's going to give you any more chances but then, you'll never know if you don't ask.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
Producers: "BAM! TV" and "Love and Sex"
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: It feels really weird talking to her now. I've never just thrown all of my cards out on the table like that( haven't been that drunk in a while either). I feel like I have no angle at all now. Think it would be a good idea to get her something for her birthday this weekend, and try to work my way back in from there?

Hello again Eugene!

I'm not surprised to hear that at all. This is an important life lesson. You only get so many chances at things and luck always favors the person who seizes it.

Absolutely DO NOT get her a gift for her birthday! It'll come off as trying to buy her attention - another weak move. That doesn't mean you shouldn't acknowledge it however. Wish her a happy birthday on FB or give her a card, but nothing more.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder


I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, dating and sex, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers from all over the world. I'm able to answer literally any question regarding dating, finding and approaching women, sex, getting phone numbers, setting dates, what to do on dates, how to set them (and make sure she shows), dealing with dating problems, conversion from dates to relationships, etc. Check my website at: for much more. If your question is particularly sensitive you can email me privately and securely at:


Having helped over 30,000 people with their issues, I'm certainly qualified to help you with yours. I don't take the "feel good" approach at all. I'm direct and that comes from experience and research into what really works.

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