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How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams/I'm too good at sex! Should be worsen my lovemaking, in order to become more attractive?


Hi Brian. I'm an 22 year old male from Italy. I've studied English for a while, but i apologise if my English isn't so good sometimes.

I'm from a town in Italy where it is very rare to find a woman who has had sex before. The women here are very traditional. That's okay with me, because i like being with the more innocent women. They are not so serious and are more happy and loving. They believe in love and make my life a fairytale. Which is what i admire about them. I think they are the most lovely women and i hope to marry them one day.

When i finished studying my degree in Switzerland last year, i had just finished my relationship with a beautiful swiss woman, since we had to go back to our home towns. We were together for all my time at university, and she taught me how to please a woman during sex. I know the different positions that give a woman pleasure (i like to start with a position that puts pressure and stimulation to her clitoris. Then her g spot. Then have her legs on my shoulders and go much deeper in her vagina to finish). All this gave my girlfriend so many orgasms each time we had sex.

When i came back home, my confidence in myself meant i could please the pretty girls in my home town. They were virgins, and didn't talk about sex or kissing so much when i met them. But when i applied the same techniques i used with my swiss girl, they had many orgasms too. And they began to want more sex from me when i became their boyfriend.

But because they used to be virgins, they don't realise that i am a rare man who can give many orgasms to women (most other men don't seem bothered to learn how to give many orgasms). They think all men can give good sex like me, so they become curious about other men, and start looking more at them.
This meant that, eventually, my girlfriends would leave me to try sex with someone else, or they have already cheated on me by having sex with other men. Even though we would already have sex every night before she went with someone else. This sort of promiscuous behaviour is rare in this part of Italy, as almost all women will only have been with one or two men their whole lives. But i believe that i have made sex become a drug to them, and they have become addicted to sex, rather than addicted to me, which is what i want so i can be in a loving and happy relationship and marriage one day.

What do i do Brian? I am so upset about this as i cannot have a girlfriend without them becoming curious about other men! It's tragic. We are so happy, and then she says that she has feelings for another man out of the blue even when i cared so much for them outside of the bedroom.
I like giving them as many orgasms as possible, i don't want to try to become an average, boring man. What do i do?


Hey Tom!

While some people may find this story unbelievable, I don't.  It's not the first time I've heard this type of problem.  However, if I am going to take it seriously, my advice for you is also going to be a bit harsh.

It seems you take a lot of pride in your ability to physically please a woman, as is evidenced in the unnecessary detail you gave me.  While that's wonderful, and you should be happy about it, it reminds me of another, more common, problem I hear from men.  The problem goes something like this: "I work very hard, I have a good job, I have an education, I make money, I'm nice, I'm honest, I'm a good person, I exercise... I do this, I do that, I also do the other thing... why don't women like me?"

It's cliche, but I think it's accurate: Relationships are like a business, and dating like a market.  There are a lot of "products" out there - possible partners - and they all offer things of value, but I only need one.  The one I'm going to choose depends on a variety of factors: my goals, my budget, its reputation, etc.  I don't necessarily need the "best" one.  In fact, there are probably a number of products that could make me happy.  I may use certain of those products certain times for certain things, but in the end I'm going to choose one and try to stick with it, and I'm going to choose the one that, hopefully, fits all, or at least most of, my needs the.  What this means is that any product that offers what other products offer and more, or at least expense to me, are going to be worth while.  The corollary of this is, any product that only offers the minimum, or not enough of something that's important to me, is not going to be worth it.

When a guy says he's nice, or educated, or has a good job or anything else like that, what he's saying is that what he offers SHOULD be enough.  But having a good job or being nice is not enough; lots of men out there have those things.  Neither is having a special talent for ONE thing while neglecting the rest, which I believe is the situation here.

It seems you have built a certain skill at the expense of others, and you seem to have a - maybe unconscious - belief that that should be enough.  It's not, as the pattern of women leaving you seems to have revealed.  The simple, harsh truth is these women would generally not be leaving you for other men if they believed other men had nothing more to offer.  I notice you didn't mention that these women came back to you after they "figured out" other men couldn't please them sexually.

Certainly their age and lack of experience may be contributing, but that is a factor outside of your control.  The only thing you can do is focus on the areas where YOU are weak and improve those.

So you don't want to become an average, boring man?  Then don't.  Learn how to appeal to women's minds and hearts as well as their groins.  That will take a lot more time and trial-and-error, but it's a worthwhile journey, if you truly do wish for a relationship some day.

Good luck on it, and let me know if you have any questions during your quest!  Take care!

How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams

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Questions on how to attract women in a non-traditional way (i.e. not through wining and dining). How to improve YOURSELF so that women will be more naturally attracted to being with you for you, not for your money/car/clothes/etc.


I've read a variety of books on pick up technique and self-improvement and was a bit of a "pick up artist" myself (until I settled down; now very happy with current girlfriend).

in this area, none in particular.

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