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How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams/Questions concerning the meeting and seduction of women- hope you can help


Dear Dr. Dennis Neder,

I'm a 19 year old and at the moment i have a tough time meeting women. Not particularly the actual opening, but the transition from opening to an actual conversation (where i can work my magic ;) ). On the very few times i do progress to meeting a girl for a date, I haven't got the courage to kiss her or ask her back to my apartment because i just don't know when to do it. I just faff about throughout the date, kiss her on the cheek, and generally never see her again. So i'll appreciate it very much if you can help me out in my situation. Thank you :)

Some questions:

1. How do you convey to a woman that you're interested in her romantically, without being blunt? I usually open by greeting a girl, and saying i think she looks beautiful. However, i feel as though i've given too much away and it's very hard to transition myself into a (deep rapport) conversation after such a bold statement, to initiate the 'seduction'. How would you open instead?

2. How do you know when to kiss a woman? When do you do it?

3. How do you ask a women to come back home with you? Assuming she's not an idiot and will probably know what will happen if she goes there.

Thanks again for your time. I hope to hear from you soon.


Hello Ryan!

"At the moment" you're having a hard time meeting women? Ryan, this should be the easiest time - it gets more difficult from here on out. I don't say that to scare you at all. My point is that you need to get some education under your belt NOW so that it doesn't have to be harder later on.

I'm not sure how you're defining "opening" as opposed to conversion to an "actual conversation". Isn't THAT the "opening" itself? What are you saying; that you know how to walk? And can point yourself in the direction of a woman you want to meet but that's it?

I've written entire books about this subject - starting from how and where to find women that you want to meet, date and build relationships with to various "conversions" along the way (approach to interest, interest to attraction, attraction to digits, digits to dates, dates to sex, sex to relationships and beyond, etc.) Thus, I can't re-write all of my books right here just for you. That's why I wrote them in the first place!

Ryan, you need to read those books to have the answers you want to have. While I've written 15 of them, I suggest you read "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III" for all of the information you're asking for here. If you do that, you're going to be in a very different situation in just a few weeks than you are right now.

It's not that all of this is tough - it's not. In fact, it's actually very easy - WHEN YOU KNOW HOW. That's the problem that most guys (and girls too) face: they only want to get just enough information to get one girlfriend or boyfriend and then they figure, "Whew! At least now my education is over!" No Ryan, it's not. There's a ton more to know to KEEP a girlfriend/boyfriend!

Anyway, let me answer your questions. It's not really going to help you very much but I'll answer them anyway:

1. You don't. You aren't going to tell a woman that you're interested in her only to have her swoon and say, "Oh Ryan! I feel the same way! Come do me right now!!!" It simply doesn't work that way. In fact, you don't TELL a woman anything like this. You don't tell her she's beautiful either - that's what every other guy does - all the other guys she isn't going to date or wind up in bed with either. Do you want to be that guy? No? Well, don't do that!

2. You know when to kiss a woman when YOU WANT TO. You're totally backward on this point. You think that SHE has to give you all the right signals or clues and that when you have enough of these then everything is "go" and you give her a big kiss. No, that's not the way it works!

In fact, I teach a thing called the "Opening Kiss" (patent pending). It's an incredible technique that totally eliminates any guesswork or confusion about the kiss and trust me, it always winds up with far more than a simple kiss!

3. You build "sexual attraction" (a.k.a. "sexual chemistry") by creating value, rapport and connection, safety and security and tying that into sexual attraction. Then, going home with you (or winding up back at her place or even in the back of your car) are foregone conclusions. Then, depending on the situation (and there are many) you do things to "convert" to sex. You handle "LMR" ("Last Minute Resistance") and build even more attraction. By this time, a woman is completely ready to have you. In fact, all of this starts at the BEGINNING of a date - NOT at the time you're ready to go home with her.

Ryan, all of those answers are 100% correct. The problem is; what you need is not in the answers themselves, it's in the how and why. Again, that's why I write entire books on these subjects! Work on your education and these answers will make perfect, complete sense to you. Trust me.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder


I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, dating and sex, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers from all over the world. I'm able to answer literally any question regarding dating, finding and approaching women, sex, getting phone numbers, setting dates, what to do on dates, how to set them (and make sure she shows), dealing with dating problems, conversion from dates to relationships, etc. Check my website at: for much more. If your question is particularly sensitive you can email me privately and securely at:


Having helped over 30,000 people with their issues, I'm certainly qualified to help you with yours. I don't take the "feel good" approach at all. I'm direct and that comes from experience and research into what really works.

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