How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams/How to Attract Her...
QUESTION: Dear Lauren,
I am a 23 year old male in graduate school for biology. I recently became very attracted to one of my classmates who is in all my classes (as we are in the same program). Her name is Laura and she is extremely intelligent - she is scoring at the top of our classes and she works extremely hard to do well.
She has been very friendly with me, she smiles to me (but I notice she smiles a lot to everyone). Occasionally she will approach me to talk. One night I was with her and a couple other classmates and we found a piano in the university center - she played some piano and sang. She is extremely talented and I complimented her. I casually requested that she teach me to play some time and that I could pay her. She said she doesn't need money and would love to teach me any time. She then later reminded me that she would love to teach me any time.
We also spent some time working on a presentation together, during which time I learned that she is a devout Christian. I am a non-Christian but admire and respect her faith. I told her I want to learn more about it. She loves philosophy, as do I.
I don't know if she would ever be interested in me, or if she's even taken already, or if she is just too focused on her studies to be interested in a relationship at all. I just really admire her and don't want to let her slip away if I have a chance at this at all. Some other things that might help you for context:
I am good-looking (this is not to put myself on a pedestal, just to let you know I'm not hideous!)
I am pretty funny and make a lot of jokes; everyone in our program likes my jokes and she laughs at them too.
One day another girl was talking about me to her, and I pretended I couldn't hear. The other girl, I believe, was talking about the way I talk (I think she was saying something positive), and Laura just remained quiet and didn't say anything at all in reply.
If you need any more relevant background, I'd be happy to provide. I just really want to know how to approach the situation.
ANSWER: Hi Bilah,
Thank you for your question. I am not sure why I missed this question for you so I apologize for the late response.
Anyway, you sound absolutely lovely. You have appreciation for other people and you are doing everything to show that you want to connect with her.
You are very genuine, and I love how you reached out to Laura and connected with her.
What ended up happening with you two? And what has your dating situation been like since you wrote me this email?
Bee Loving Bee Wise,
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: No problem.
Thank you for being so kind. Well, she went quite cold with me suddenly last semester. I asked her if she wanted to help me study for a class, but she just said that she's the last person I should be asking (even though she's at the top of our class). I did hear she is like this with everyone though.
She seems quite friendly with one of my good friends, Tyler, but he is engaged and she knows that. Anyway, after she went really cold on me, I decided to move on. There have been some interesting scenarios though, where she does try to sit near me and chat, but she's quite the enigma!
I did want to at least be good friends with her, but it doesn't seem like it's possible now. She's quite elusive. Although I've moved on, I do still find her quite remarkable, even though just about everyone else in our program finds her awkward.
Thank you for the update. You are someone who can see and appreciate beauty and individuality. This approach will get you far in creating authentic relationships. You are much further along that most men and women!
Keep it up!
Bee Loving Bee Wise,