How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams/What next?


Hi there,

To keep the story short, this girl was playing hot and cold with me, that is showing interest one time and ignoring me the next time. All of this was in person. As for virtual contact, she replied to my message once, and then ignored my messages twice.

So I was pissed at her 'game'. I then stopped all form of contact with her. I met her twice, in college and at a party after that. Both times I was very cold to her. She would say hi and I would just nod my head. Once I even went on to say bye to all my friends around her at the party, except for her.

The thing is now, my friends have spoken to her about me. She has a good impression of me. She says things like I am a damn sweet guy, damn cool guy and stuff. Okay so her impression of me is good.

Now its exam break, and after that she will fly off to her home town. I have got no possible way of meeting her at all. It will be hard to set up a date as we are busy studying. What I want to do now is to basically at least chat with her. I intend to initiate by wishing her luck for the exams via sms.

But the thing is, I haven't spoken to her for ages, so will that message be out of the blue? What do you suggest I do?

Hello Jackson!

*IF* your last two messages to her were ones needing/deserving a response (not ones like "See you soon" or "I hope everything is ok", etc.) and she didn't bother responding, I think you should dump that idiot and move on. It's incredibly rude of her if she's actually interested in you and incredibly vague of her if not.

Either way, is that really the sort of person you want in your life? I'd sincerely hope not! There are TONS of girls who use that little (stupid) game and frankly, it never works out. Jackson, with so many really great women out there, don't waste your time on someone this mediocre. Honestly, if she doesn't know any better or (worse) is this rude, you're going to be very, very sorry if you invest any time or energy into her. Trust me on this.

As to your question:

Yes, it will be out of the blue. Isn't that the point however?

I think it's a waste of your time because you're just going to get more of the same stupidity from this girl. The very best you can expect is that she'll respond and then you'll respond back hoping to connect and she'll ignore your attempts again. This is a stupid game that immature girls with no real skills play. They set you up and then go into hiding again thinking that it somehow makes them more interesting and valuable to you. (I hope you don't fall for that.)

Instead, it just shows that they don't know what they're doing - and worse, any effort you DO put in only produces something you'll be disappointed with. These girls are never worth your energy. That's why they have to do this dumb shit.

Thus, my suggestion is to forget her and move on to find someone who knows better.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder


I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, dating and sex, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers from all over the world. I'm able to answer literally any question regarding dating, finding and approaching women, sex, getting phone numbers, setting dates, what to do on dates, how to set them (and make sure she shows), dealing with dating problems, conversion from dates to relationships, etc. Check my website at: for much more. If your question is particularly sensitive you can email me privately and securely at:


Having helped over 30,000 people with their issues, I'm certainly qualified to help you with yours. I don't take the "feel good" approach at all. I'm direct and that comes from experience and research into what really works.

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