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How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams/I think she likes me too but she's afraid

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QUESTION: First of all, I should apologize for my bad english; I hope you understand the main point.

We were social friends for about 2 years, and connected in facebook, twitter and other social websites. we met, when we go out with friends, parties, birthdays and etc. About 3 or 4 month ago I realized that I have feeling for her but I was afraid to tell her, until about 1 month ago that I ask her out.

She said she's not in right mood for being in relationship - later I found out she has recently broke up after 4 years - and she did not know me well. Few days later she start chatting and asking personal question to knowing me, and after a few days we get closer.

Until one day she didn't text me and even did not answer my texts and call. At first I thought she's busy, but the next day was the same. I ask her did I do something wrong? she answered that no, and she's just busy with her college stuffs. I left her alone to do her works, but in twitter I saw that she answers others but me. I ask her about her behavior, and she said she cannot continue, and I remind her his ex-boyfriend, and she was to be alone forever.

I don't know what should I do. I really like her and I can't take her out of my mind. I tried so hard to forget her but I couldn't. I can't convince myself to give her up. please help.

Thanks, Behzad.

ANSWER: Hello Behzad!

There are some things about this story I don't know. To start, is she away at college or is she still local? If she's not right there were you can actually see her there's not much point in continuing anything.

What changed during the conversation? I get the sense that you're pushing connection and intimacy (which is why she's says you remind her of her ex) when those things need to come on their own as you create rapport and connection between you.

Keep in mind that using language like "...I just can't..." takes away almost all the tools you have to actually turn things around with this - or any - girl. Stop being so absolute about things and think possibilities. This includes the possibility that this isn't the girl for you and that you're going to have to move on.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you Dr. Nedar for your reply.

About your first question, yes she's local.
And about your second question, on third day she asked me why I choose her, and I tell her about my feelings. And then she get emotional, and start hugging and kissing.

Another thing I should tell is that sometimes she act like she want to be with me, it's just a feeling I had, maybe it's wrong.

Answer
Hello again Bahzad!

It's very likely that you talked yourself out of her interest. I unfortunately see guys doing that all the time. They get very close and then gush their emotions all over the girl (just like a girl would do) and then they lose her.

You need to find out if that's the case. To do that is easy however, but it's going to take some time.

Give her AT LEAST two weeks with no contact whatsoever. Don't call her. Don't text her. If possible, don't run into her either. You need some distance to see if she'll forget whatever warning flags she senses from you.

After that time, text her and tell her you want to talk. Don't ask her if it's ok - just tell her that's what you want. Then, set something up.

When you go on this "date" you're going to fix all the emotional stuff by NOT repeating it. Instead, you're going to be stronger and more focused so that she gets to see THAT side of you as well.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder

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I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, dating and sex, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers from all over the world. I'm able to answer literally any question regarding dating, finding and approaching women, sex, getting phone numbers, setting dates, what to do on dates, how to set them (and make sure she shows), dealing with dating problems, conversion from dates to relationships, etc. Check my website at: http://beingaman.com for much more. If your question is particularly sensitive you can email me privately and securely at: dwneder@beingaman.com.

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Having helped over 30,000 people with their issues, I'm certainly qualified to help you with yours. I don't take the "feel good" approach at all. I'm direct and that comes from experience and research into what really works.

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Doctor of Philosophy

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Many thousands ... and millions of readers all over the world.

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