How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams/Dating The Woman I Dont Want
Hello Dr. Dennis W. Neder, am a second year student and never been in a relationship before. The problem am facing now is i like thick and a bit of women with flesh. I like this first year girl, but she is everything i dont like in a woman. She's slim, a bit short and i just dont know i dont like such women but for no reason i like this girl. She is like a torn in my flesh. I think about her and see her face whenever am quiet. I dont know why i see her on campus and i want to ask her to be my gf but but i see women just like her and i dont feel the same way. What do you suggest i do and how do i approach her please help me is tearing me up both inside and out. Thank you
Let's say that you're outside working in the yard on a hot day. You get really thirsty so you go inside, get a glass, go to the sink, pour yourself some water and drink it.
Now, let me ask you a question: are you unsatisfied and still thirsty because the water wasn't from a bottle with ice in it like you had the day before?
Of course not. That's the point! You get to have a range of things in your life that you find satisfying and interesting.
What's really happening here is that you're growing up. Your expanding your tastes and learning new ways, things, people, experiences, etc., etc., all of which add color and joy to your life.
You have now found a new type of woman who you can be attracted to. In fact, the world is full of all sorts of women who are really incredible. Limiting yourself only to one look cuts out a bunch of great girls who you'd never otherwise have the chance to get to know.
You almost seemed ashamed of your interest in this girl. What a waste if that's true! Just because she doesn't look like the girl you thought was your "perfect woman" means nothing. You've now discovered that it's not just a woman's looks, but far more that you can be attracted to. Now that you see that, you never have to look backward again. You've just expanded your opportunities and your potential to meet more great girls.
As to how to approach her; it's really simple.
I teach a lot of "approach methods" but the easiest is called the "context approach". It works by first asking yourself a question (and keep in mind that you can do this anywhere, any time with anyone you'd like to meet!) Just ask, "What do [the girl I want to meet] and you have in common at this specific time, place and situation?"
Your answer to that question is your "context" to approach her and strike up a conversation.
One example (of many of them) is the fact that you've never seen her at school before. Think about that. How easy would it be to walk up to her and say, "Hi, I'm Kofi. Are you new here at this school?" Then, get her name and find out more about her.
Congratulations on growing up!
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”