How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams/Several im afraid...

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QUESTION: Hello, ive recently got chatting to a girl at work, weve met 3 times now even if it was just for an hour or so. Im impressed that she obviously trusts me to meet up with me on her own rather than in a group. Weve given each others phone number but I cant help but think, shall I text her or give her space?. Ive read from other sources to be "aloof" ie pretend I don't care or interested & she'll thank me for that & come chasing after me, but im not entirely convinced by that statement. On the other hand I don't want to mither her & appear "needy". I know people say just be yourself but its a fine line & easier said than done. Give her space, she may think im not interested or text more but I seem obsessive. Ive been hurt before by getting attached to easily & caring too much, ive also been jealous in the past which im not proud of & that's putting doubts in my mind incase it happens again. Feel free to ask me any questions if it makes it easier to answer my question or for more info. Thanks for your time.

ANSWER: Hello Martin!

You don't want to appear aloof and uninterested, nor do you want to be needy. There IS a balance.

"Just Be Yourself" ("JBY") is one of those pieces of "feel-good" advice that is given when someone has nothing else to offer. Frankly, it's pretty cruel because it implies that you should just relax and let everything just be whatever it is - as though it's like flipping a switch or something. It's absolutely not like that.

As to being hurt before, well, welcome to the club! Martin, EVERYONE has been hurt. That's not some exclusive, personal club you belong to. It shouldn't be the reason for the choices you make in how you will deal with this girl.

Martin, your problem comes from a couple of lacking areas. The first is that you don't know how women think, feel, speak or act. The second is that you don't have a clear, specific plan in which you confidently know what to do.

What you need is a process - a methodology - to follow. The problem is that I can't give you that methodology via even one hundred of these messages. I've written entire books about this subject and that is a good place for you to start. Start getting some education under your belt so that you can make real-time decisions about what to do and when to do it.

With that said, you definitely want to be engaging and calling her or texting her occasionally is a good thing. However "occasionally" doesn't mean 20 times a day, nor does it mean once a month. Where you are in the process will dictate what and how much.

Just the fact that she continues to be interested in spending time with you tells you what you need to know. Start establishing a pattern and becoming interested in; and a part of, her life.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hello, I like your answer its much appreciated. However where can I find your books? Are they online? What are they called?.

Also, what do you mean by "get some education under your belt"?. How?, in what way do you mean?

Thanks again for your time,

Martin.

Answer
Hello again Martin!

You're very welcome. I'm glad it is helping.

You can find my books at my website: http://BeingAMan.com under "Products". Yes, they are available online. The main series is called "Being a Man in a Woman's World".

Specifically, the above. You are flying by the seat of your pants here. You're not working from a plan or any real knowledge or understanding. Thus, you can only do what you feel is right. Unfortunately, those "feelings" are almost always wrong since the come from a place of need.

These books are all about giving you that foundation ("education") you need to make this - or any relationship - work.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder

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I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, dating and sex, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers from all over the world. I'm able to answer literally any question regarding dating, finding and approaching women, sex, getting phone numbers, setting dates, what to do on dates, how to set them (and make sure she shows), dealing with dating problems, conversion from dates to relationships, etc. Check my website at: http://beingaman.com for much more. If your question is particularly sensitive you can email me privately and securely at: dwneder@beingaman.com.

Experience

Having helped over 30,000 people with their issues, I'm certainly qualified to help you with yours. I don't take the "feel good" approach at all. I'm direct and that comes from experience and research into what really works.

Education/Credentials
Doctor of Philosophy

Past/Present Clients
Many thousands ... and millions of readers all over the world.

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