How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams/crush on co worker

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Question
QUESTION: hi sir,

I have a new co worker and with in few months we have become so intimate in work. i found she is similar in many my styles and ways. slowly i started having feelings for her.  Earlier i got mixed signals or i thought they were so positive ones.. but standing this day now i dont know if she has any interest in me. we talk but now a days i am short of subjects though i wish to tell many things and listen to her all day long.

The earlier stage started a bit slow? as soon as she started to talk with my other colleagues... she is friendly but there are few charming frauds who can really fake and misuse her innocence.

my question is No# 1
how i can know if she has feelings for me? i cannot directly ask her.. not because i dont have guts but it might break a very good friendship that i value most.


No#2
How can i be non possessive? and non jealous? when ever my colleagues throw a joke and she smiles it make me a bit uncomfortable and my face changes.. (she can read it too). many a times i thought of telling vulgar jokes.. the kind few others tell around. but i could not do (I fear i might be supporting those frauds)


No#3
How can i be happy and make her chase me?
Initially i was so free.. Now i am the needy.. i could not loose her.. developed a kind of admiration for her works and sound and everything -

ANSWER: Okay I'm going to call you John... Let's get started. First of all you said in your first sentence  that " we have become so intimate in work" can  you define intimate for me please. John I'm going to break down your letter paragraph by paragraph just to give you an enlighten message. Earlier i got mixed signals or i thought they were so positive ones.. but standing this day now i don't know if she has any interest in me. we talk but now a days i am short of subjects though i wish to tell many things and listen to her all day long.  Okay John when you get mixed signal from a woman it's a sign of low interest this is why its important to never hesitate to let a woman know how you feel about them so you at least know where you stand instead of playing the guessing game trying to figure out if she likes you are not. The earlier stage started a bit slow? as soon as she started to talk with my other colleagues... she is friendly but there are few charming frauds who can really fake and misuse her innocence. John it feels more like you're a little jealous of these guys, but that's okay because it's rooted in competition and a little of that is good. how i can know if she has feelings for me? i cannot directly ask her.. not because i don't have guts but it might break a very good friendship that i value most. John if you really like this woman then you have to be straight forward with her otherwise you're going to live in a pool of regret and bitterness. Okay it may make your friendship a little awkward, but hey at least you will get a piece of mind, and you never know she may have some feelings for you too.  If you don't take the risk John you will not get the reward(Woman) Keeping a good friendship should be the least of your concerns. How can i be non possessive? and non jealous? when ever my colleagues throw a joke and she smiles it make me a bit uncomfortable and my face changes.. (she can read it too). many a times i thought of telling vulgar jokes.. the kind few others tell around. but i could not do (I fear i might be supporting those frauds) John you're putting way too much into this woman, so much that you're making her an Idol in your life. Jealously will come and go, but there is no reason for you to be possessive over her especially if you have not went on a date. I'm pretty sure that she know's that you like her, but your inaction is more than likely making you look weak and unattractive in her eyes. John you need to be strong, confident, and assertive when dealing with women because that's what they are attracted ( They love a man with a plan who's not doubtful). Don't worry about the other guys because it's not about them, just be the best you and go after what you want despite the risk of rejection. How can i be happy and make her chase me?
Initially i was so free.. Now i am the needy.. i could not loose her.. developed a kind of admiration for her works and sound and everything
Again the reason why you feel needy is because you have chosen to make this woman an idol in your life. So everything evolves around you trying to do things that impresses her. New Flash-- women don't like men who worship them because they see them as weak or someone who will do whatever they say. What you need to do John is back off a little. Take a week or two to get yourself together. You have to end this friend zone thing you got going with her. Instead of talking like best friends why don't you ask her out to dinner or a movie and talk there. You have to let her know that your not just a friend by another guy that's interested in dating her otherwise she will cross you out as dating material. John these are all short end answers but I hope it helps you out.







---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Yes it did made me feel good. thanks

the intimate in work means literally we are such a great combination in work.. we both compliment each other and i never act as big boss.. i am acting as her assistant..


but oh how sad i forget (or was it purposeful) to mention that she is married.. and that is the reason i cannot push forward or take her out

initially i saw her glancing frequently. i didnt knew if it was attraction.. but i always made it clear that i value her and adore her..

by the way this is not to cheat or make her cheat .. i just want to be her best friend.. and i am more than happy to be staying there


you are perfectly right that i made her idol in my life.. but it happened to be so.. and i do wish to move out thought i like it.

Answer
John keep your relationship with her professional and strictly platonic. Yes you failed to mention that she was is Married. John messing with a married woman is bad in every culture so If I were you I would back off. Now you're always going to find an attractive woman either at your work or somewhere in public you just have to find that median ground where you're attracted to her but that's as far as you go. You have to practice selfcontrol and not put your feeling into it. She may very well think you're attractive but the point of the matter is that she is married and you need to respect her union even if she doesn't respect it. Now in your case because you're emotionally involved I would shun away from becoming her bestfriend because your only going to torment yourself. I hope my answer helps you. Good luck!

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I believe I'm eligible to answer all questions in the relationship field. I specialize in improving men in dating and career life. I am the Author of the book " Be the man that Women love" a guide teaching guys how to snag any woman by just being a real man in today's society. Teaching men to find their true potential by unblocking mental barriers is what I'm all about. I have written many articles on relationships and men's life style, and have dedicated my time to answer hundreds of forum questions pertaining to dating problems and low self-esteem issues in men. I help women as well by teaching them the nature of how men operate, and how to deal and cope with passive men. Ultimately, through self introspection, I've learned that we all need advice from time to time, so I've made it my life's goal to help men and women out with dating and relationship issues. To learn more about Markeyus, please visit http://live2conquer.com and http://markfranks.net

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