How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams/Reacting to a girl who rejected

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QUESTION: Hello Dennis w. Neder,

I recently felt this girl was interested in me, and I liked her. We were socializing well so I messaged her asking her out to which she didn't reply. I then met her in person again and she was casual. 3 weeks laterI dropped her another message and she didn't reply again. When I asked if she had received the message via Facebook, she stopped responding to me there too.

I think the girl is not interested in me anymore. I probably blew my chances with her already. Now how do I react when I see her in person. I don't want to seem like the rejected guy. And to be honest I want to show that her ignoring my messages mean nothing to me. So how do I do it? What can I say to her the next time I meet her?

Also is there any way I could have her change her current mindset about me?

ANSWER: Hello Gareth!

Yes, this girl is not interested in you anymore AND she's a very rude, evasive bitch. Seriously, she didn't even think enough of you to turn you down politely? Instead she just evaded your invitation?

As to how you react; be disappointed that you thought much higher of her and how you don't. You thought that she was a kind, considerate person but found out that she's not that at all. She's rude.

Yes, there IS a way you could have changed things here. You could have asked her in person rather than via text.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hey doc,

I saw this girl today. Keeping in mind what you said, I gave her a cold look. She then waved hi to me. I reacted by nodding my head, and I just walked past her. Basically, at that moment I was feeling that disappointment that she's a rude bitch. And I think it showed in my reaction to her.

That night itself, she commented on a picture of me on Facebook saying that it was nice. Now I think she has sort of realized that she is losing my attention. I think she is the type of girl who uses guys to give herself an ego boost every now and then. And she thought I was one of those guys. And now she realizes that she is losing me as a source of her ego boost.

So I think that she was trying to get me to feel that she might be interested in me by commenting on my picture. Only for me to chase behind her. And for her to flake me off yet again.

So I have decided to continue reacting to her the same way. Ignoring her when she comes to me and giving her a taste of her own medicine. And I will only respect her again if she clarifies her ignoring my messages or even apologizing for her own mistake.

The thing is this girl is young and immature. So is my perspective towards dealing with her correct? If not, what do you suggest I do when she comes talking to me? If she does apologize and all, should I trust her and allow things to bloom between us?

Answer
Hello again Gareth!

Your read of this girl's comment to your photo is spot-on. Yes, she's aware of your disappointment (maybe even seeing it as anger or resentment - but no matter) and yes, she's trying to get you to start chasing her again. This is entirely about her own ego and need for attention.

She tells herself, "I have all these guys who want me and are chasing after me! I must really be something!" In fact, almost every other guy WOULD start chasing her again! Then; when someone comes along who doesn't play the game, it completely destroys her entire self-image.

However: don't do this out of revenge. That's a very small, immature way to react to other people's problems. Instead, as I've already told you, be honestly disappointed in her. Also, understand this: the likelihood of her apologizing to you is zero. Women simply won't do that. It means they would have to accept responsibility for something they did and honestly, that is just not a common female trait.

It's ok to tell her that you are disappointed in her too (by the way) but don't make it your mission. If it comes to that; simply tell her that you hoped she was better than that, but are saddened to learn she's not. You've decided to hold out to find a woman who is.

All of this not only changes your perspective of her, but more important: of yourself. Too many guys are willing to be played by these ridiculous games and all it does is tear down their own self-esteems. Expect better for yourself while holding yourself to a higher standard. When you do this, guess what sorts of women you'll begin to attract?

Answer: the ones you really want to have in your life. Not these insecure, immature, self-absorbed idiots.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder

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I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, dating and sex, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers from all over the world. I'm able to answer literally any question regarding dating, finding and approaching women, sex, getting phone numbers, setting dates, what to do on dates, how to set them (and make sure she shows), dealing with dating problems, conversion from dates to relationships, etc. Check my website at: http://beingaman.com for much more. If your question is particularly sensitive you can email me privately and securely at: dwneder@beingaman.com.

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Having helped over 30,000 people with their issues, I'm certainly qualified to help you with yours. I don't take the "feel good" approach at all. I'm direct and that comes from experience and research into what really works.

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Doctor of Philosophy

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Many thousands ... and millions of readers all over the world.

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