How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams/An appropriate gift

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QUESTION: There's this girl I know who I kind of like. We have known each other for quite some time, but we are not exactly very close. I haven't confessed my liking to her because I don't feel it's the right time yet. But maybe she knows that I am interested as I asked her out once and we were supposed to go out for lunch.

It's her birthday today, and I want to get her a small gift. I want it to be a casual and simple gift and not a lover's gift as of yet. What suggestions do you have for such a gift? And I plan to include a note writing about my impression of her as well.

Thanks for your time

ANSWER: Hello Harry!

DO NOT confess your feelings to her! What is she supposed to do with that? Many younger guys do this and it's an utter failure. They think it's an easy way to get the girl to do all their work for them. It simply doesn't work - ever.

The best gift you can give someone is something you know they are interested in. Think back about your conversations with her. What has she mentioned that she likes? Does she have any interests or hobbies? You can give her a nice book or something else (small!) related to her interests and not only will she like it, she'll be impressed that you actually listened to her.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi there,

Thank you so much for your earlier reply. Right now I am considering whether I should even get her a gift or not. This is because I merely wished her, but she did not even reply me back to say thanks. And the weird part is that she saw my message and replied everyone else who wished her, except me.

Just in case you're wondering whether it's because I might have been bugging her alot and stuff, let me just tell you that it is far from that. The last time I spoke to her was 1 month ago. And that too was when she herself said we should meet up. And after we decided to go for lunch she just tot of ignored me.

I spoke to another friend one day, and she was telling me that girls today play very hard to get, even if they like the guy chasing them. She told me that there was this girl who rejected a guy's request for a date 3 times before agreeing to go out. And eventually they got into a relationship. There was another similar situation where a guy initially kept getting flaked, and only after 6 months of chasing her they went out on a date. And now he is engaged to that girl.

So should I just give up on this girl? Or should I not give up and keep persisting? If I were to take the latter route, doesn't persistence annoy girls? How do you keep chasing someone without pissing her off?

ANSWER: Hello again Harry!

Only DUMB girls (without any other skills) play hard-to-get. You should consider that. If this girl lacks even basic skills and has to resort to game-playing like this, is she really someone you want to be with? I'd hope not!

Don't worry about pissing her off. Worry that she's so clueless, immature and socially inept that if you DID get into a relationship with her you'd be sorry.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hey there,

She finally replied after one week. It was quite a long reply, addressing my joke about her personality and justifying her actions in the past, claiming that she is an introvert. She also thanked me for my wishes.

To be honest, I think she is just making excuses to cover up her ignoring act. I feel that girls do this all the time, making excuses to cover up their games haha, what do you think?

But I do feel that she is probably still interested in me. The only thing I am still wondering is she whether she wants me to chase her, or she really wants to progress with regards to me. I think it's the former.

But whatever it is, I already got her the gift. I won't give it to her immediately when I see it. I'll see how she reacts in person before deciding to give it to her. Also, I am getting to know other girls at the same time.

What is your perspective of this situation and my decision with regards to it?

Answer
Hey Harry!

She finally relied? That wasn't "quite long", it was "quite rude". Harry, don't reward bad behavior. Return the gift or give it to someone else. ONLY give gifts to people who earn them.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder

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I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, dating and sex, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers from all over the world. I'm able to answer literally any question regarding dating, finding and approaching women, sex, getting phone numbers, setting dates, what to do on dates, how to set them (and make sure she shows), dealing with dating problems, conversion from dates to relationships, etc. Check my website at: http://beingaman.com for much more. If your question is particularly sensitive you can email me privately and securely at: dwneder@beingaman.com.

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Having helped over 30,000 people with their issues, I'm certainly qualified to help you with yours. I don't take the "feel good" approach at all. I'm direct and that comes from experience and research into what really works.

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Doctor of Philosophy

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Many thousands ... and millions of readers all over the world.

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