How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams/Girl who flirts but wont date

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QUESTION: Basically there's this girl in my college. I kinda have a crush on her. I have asked her out several times and we've gone out for dinner once or twice before. Those outings were good and she even said that we should meet again and thats why we met the second time.

The last three times I asked her out though, they did not happen. The first time she could not make it as she already had other plans with this girl (that was true as I knew it for a fact, I knew the other girl as well). The second time I could not make it as something popped up last minute for me. The third time, she could not make it on the day I asked her out.

So yesterday we went clubbing together with a group of friends. We had a fantastic time, and midway she started to hold my hands, hug me and we even danced together alone on the dance floor for quite some time.

After everyone left, we stayed back and had some quality alone time, talking about stuff. She even went on to ask me about the kind of girl I like, so on and so forth. She then told me that she thinks she that might be liking someone. But just that she is not sure about it. We were a little touchy when we sat together as well, holding each other's hands.

After that, I thought that we had such a good time together, and that I should ask her out for lunch. And in fact, I did. However, she gave me an excuse saying she was busy the whole week and she gave a line of excuses to ensure that each day was blocked out.

One catch though, is that her best friend is in love with me, and I do not like that girl.

So my confusion is this? She moved closely with me, we were going out, but just at the climax of our night, she did not want to meet me for lunch. Did i misinterpret her behaviour for her liking towards me? Is she doing this so as to be loyal to her best friend? Or is she just simply using me to enjoy herself physically?

Also how should I treat her? I am definitely going to stop asking her out for a while. But how do I pursue this?

ANSWER: Hello Jared!

This girl is interested in you to some degree. The problem is, you're not pulling the trigger! If; instead of just holding her hand that night, you had pushed her against the wall and just kissed her things would have been very different right now.

The other problem is; you don't know how to set dates. Forget lunch and coffee dates. These are for business deals. Instead just say to her, "So, let's get together next week. Which day is better for you, Thursday or Saturday?" (or whenever). Then, if she gives you some lame excuse, call her on it! Just say, "Do you really want me to lose interest? I'm sorry to say that's where things are going. When ARE you available?"

Jared, part of the problem is that you've let things go on for so long without moving them forward - at least in the right way. It's time to make something happen. Or don't.

Regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you so much for your advice.

Well we are about to go on a holiday with our group of friends in 2 days time. So in our group chat she asked if anyone was going to exchange some currency. I casually mentioned I was going to, and I private messaged her saying she could join me (since she brought it up in the first place!!!). However, she said she's not sure if she was free (yet another excuse)

I feel like punching myself for asking her, and getting rejected again. I didnt want to call her on it over text, I'd rather do it in person. So i ended the text convo immediately. Was this another test I failed?

Now I feel like I might have blown it. But to be honest, actually something similar with her happened before and time healed it eventually. After not contacting her for 2 weeks, we actually went out once. But this was 2 months ago.

During the trip there's definitely going to be drinking again. And all other fun stuff. But I should just play cool and not be all available to her right? What do you think?

ANSWER: Hello again Jared!

I don't know enough about the context of your texts to know if it was a fail or not. What I do know is that you're being led around by the nose here. You're worried about every little thing she does or says instead of just having your own plan and following it regardless of what she does or doesn't do. That is the "fail".

As an overall plan, that could work (the holiday) but you've got to set up opportunities for things to happen and then be ready to fill them if she flakes.

Regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Okay so the trip happened. During the trip her body language suggested that she was attracted to this one other guy in our group of friends. She kept hanging around him and would laugh to his jokes, no matter how lame they were. Like even when he was sleeping she would tell her friends like how cute that guy looks like when sleeping and stuff like that. That guy, is apparently in love with her.

As for her behaviour with me, it was all normal and I didnt try to barge into her space and try to talk to her. While we were drunk we had a small moment going on, but someone else barged in and spoiled it. Otherwise I was just being myself around her. Twice or thrice, i caught her looking at me and observing me from far, from the corner of my eyes.

To make things worse, some other third guy apparently confessed his liking for her as well.

So I feel like I dont know where to go now with this girl. Am I right to say that I should just give up and move on?

Even if there's a way to work this around, it is going to take long and I have to stop contact until she initiates anything from her side right?

Answer
Hey Jared!

Yes, it's best to find someone else and put your efforts into her instead. This has likely gone on too long. Remember that the first few days - up to a week or two - are critical in putting things together.

Regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder

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I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, dating and sex, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers from all over the world. I'm able to answer literally any question regarding dating, finding and approaching women, sex, getting phone numbers, setting dates, what to do on dates, how to set them (and make sure she shows), dealing with dating problems, conversion from dates to relationships, etc. Check my website at: http://beingaman.com for much more. If your question is particularly sensitive you can email me privately and securely at: dwneder@beingaman.com.

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Having helped over 30,000 people with their issues, I'm certainly qualified to help you with yours. I don't take the "feel good" approach at all. I'm direct and that comes from experience and research into what really works.

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Doctor of Philosophy

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Many thousands ... and millions of readers all over the world.

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