How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams/Confession to a girl

Advertisement


Question
QUESTION: To keep the long story short, I confessed to a girl in my college. First catch, she is in a long distance relatinship. Second thing, I didnt tell her that i like her or love her. All i said was that at the moment I find it difficult to take the next step with any other girl I am dating and it could bebeecause of her. But at the same time, I also told her that I wasn't expecting anything from her.

You might think that I am crazy for doing this. But trust me when I say this. The feeling was not one sided, it was mutual. We hang around alot, and although she holds herself back, too many subtle signs show her interest in me. That was what gave me the confidence in the first place. Also, she is going to be in my country for the next 7 years. So I dont see how she can maintain that long distance relationship, given that she is still 19 right now.

She was shocked when I told her, but after that she laughed (in a shy way) and said she had no reaction. She went back to her home country a few days later for the summer holidays. we continued to keep in touch through text and everything was perfectly normal.

College just resumed. This is where the problem started, after the first time she met me, she started behaving weirdly. I didnt even do anything but she has been trying to avoid me.She seems a little different. Its like she is forcing herself not to show any of those subtle signs she used to last time. Like she wants to be away from me. Yet at the same time, she hangs around near my group and keeps a lookout for me. I wanted to just test waters so I just tested her something light, to which she would always laugh. But after one reply she ignored.

Right now I have decided not to text or initiate any contact with her, unless I bump into her in person. I want to give her her space as I feel that by trying to contact her at this point, it will only irritate her and make her dislike me.

And also, her birthday is coming up in 2 months, I don't know if I should get her a gift.

She definitely liked me before, and there was no change in her attitude towards me until she met me in person after the holidays. Is she trying to hate me?

What do you think of my current situation? Is my approach correct? Do you have any advice for me?

ANSWER: Hello Jackson!

She's avoiding you. That tells you a lot. At this point the only thing you can do is to back even further away - as in zero contact - and see what she does. Give her at least 2-3 weeks and see if she makes contact. If not, you'll know that she's reaffirmed her long-distance relationship and doesn't want anything more with you.

As to her birthday, no. Don't get her a gift and reward her for being distant! Unless she turns things around and you have don't have to even think about that for another month or so.

Regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you so much for your reply. However, I am not sure as to how I could pull off the zero contact thing, as we are involved in a production together and hence I will have to meet her twice every week.

Do I not initiate any conversations with her in person also? Like say hi only if she says hi and so on?

One more doubt, if she does come back for me, or reinitiates contact, do I accept it and reciprocate? Alot of my friends tell me noT to do that as her chance is gone, it has been blown and I shouldn't give her a 2nd chance

ANSWER: Hello again Jackson!

Image how you'd treat another guy you don't know well who is also involved in the product. That's how you'd treat her. Other than that, don't reach out to her - keep it strictly business.

Also, don't be rude or condescending to her either.

If she begins to reestablish a connection with you, accept it but don't react to it. Stay somewhat distant while making sure she has access.

Regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi,

Thank you so much for your reply. Its been a week since I last saw her and today I had the chance to apply what you have advised me, when I bumped into her along the corridor.

For some reason I am still really optimistic and confident that she will come back in the future. She actually stopped and wanted to talk to me more I guess, but I was in a rush myself.So i just said hi, and she asked where I'm going. I told I had to go home and I told her bye and just left straightaway.

I do have to admit that it is difficult though as I do miss her, given that its only been awhile that I've cut all contact. But let's see how this goes.

Anyways thank you for your advice!

Answer
Hey Jackson!

You're very welcome!

Regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Dr. Dennis W. Neder

Expertise

I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, dating and sex, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers from all over the world. I'm able to answer literally any question regarding dating, finding and approaching women, sex, getting phone numbers, setting dates, what to do on dates, how to set them (and make sure she shows), dealing with dating problems, conversion from dates to relationships, etc. Check my website at: http://beingaman.com for much more. If your question is particularly sensitive you can email me privately and securely at: dwneder@beingaman.com.

Experience

Having helped over 30,000 people with their issues, I'm certainly qualified to help you with yours. I don't take the "feel good" approach at all. I'm direct and that comes from experience and research into what really works.

Education/Credentials
Doctor of Philosophy

Past/Present Clients
Many thousands ... and millions of readers all over the world.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.