You are here:

How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams/Should I tell crush abroad I like her???



I recently just went on holiday to visit a friend in Mexico for a month and had a fantastic time there. Whilst meeting her friends & family, I met this one girl who immediately caught my attention. She is my friend’s best friend & although I didn’t say or do anything, my crush towards her started developing.

What I liked about her was she was just fun, open and inviting to talk to, no games or anything and has a bubbly personality.  I returned back home to New York 3 weeks ago & since then we’ve keep in contact. We’ve sent messages on Snapchat, Whatsapp & even Skyped last weekend! Just some things I’ve noted - she mostly initiates contact with me, she said she likes foreigners & said she likes my accent, and normally comments on my snapchat pics. Some people think she’s just being friendly (bubbly fun character) & others think she may like me back…

The thing is we live in different countries & I don’t know If I will ever see her again. I’m 25, she’s only 20 & if i tell her i like her, I have this feeling it will end badly / lose all contact!! Yet even though we live apart, my urge to tell her is just growing! Do you think i should tell her, or just keep it to myself as you never what may happen in the future.. My friend already knows I have a crush on her, but hasn't said anything....Thanks!

Hello Daniel!

I agree. If you tell her that you like her, things will get awkward, but frankly, you have far, far bigger problems here.

Daniel, the reality is this: long-distance relationships ("LDR's") simply never, EVER work out. What you're building right now is entirely in your head - not "in reality" and even worse, you're actually destroying your chances of having a real, solid, HEALTHY relationship in the future. I've worked with a very large number of people who come out of these LDR's devastated and it often takes many months or years to overcome - if they can even do so.

There's a ton of science behind this that I don't have the time to get into. (If you're interested in knowing all about it, check out my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World III" where I go into it in depth - including the very likely outcomes.)

The bottom line is this: while what you think you have feels real, it is not. Worse, she's not the person you've created in your own head and now you're actually falling for that ghost you're creating. What real woman could ever live up to your fantasy?

This is the fantasy that you can't have too. If you two were together and could actually build something real that'd be different. Unfortunately, you aren't and you can't.

It's time to move on and let this go. Find someone right there in your own backyard and let her knock your socks off instead.


Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Dr. Dennis W. Neder


I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, dating and sex, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers from all over the world. I'm able to answer literally any question regarding dating, finding and approaching women, sex, getting phone numbers, setting dates, what to do on dates, how to set them (and make sure she shows), dealing with dating problems, conversion from dates to relationships, etc. Check my website at: for much more. If your question is particularly sensitive you can email me privately and securely at:


Having helped over 30,000 people with their issues, I'm certainly qualified to help you with yours. I don't take the "feel good" approach at all. I'm direct and that comes from experience and research into what really works.

Doctor of Philosophy

Past/Present Clients
Many thousands ... and millions of readers all over the world.

©2017 All rights reserved.

[an error occurred while processing this directive]