Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 11/29/2007

Question
Dear Dr. Neder,
 I am a sophomore in Highschool and for the past two months I have enjoyed to company of a good friend of mine. I took her to homecoming in October, and she told her best friend (also a good friend of mine) that she wasn't interested. However, my feelings for her have not ceased. Her best friend feels that I still have a chance. Girls have described me as humorous, cute, intelligent, and a gentleman. I have little issues with the actual asking her out, but I am confused as to what my next move should be.

Thank You,
 Nick

Answer
Hello Nick!

Here's the problem - you have the girl's own biology working against you. There's going to be some science content here, but stick with me as you need to understand what you're dealing with.

Do me a favor and imagine kissing your mother. I know, I know, but just do it. Do you notice that natural revulsion you feel trying to think of it? That's a natural reaction that is built right into you. It's there as a protection mechanism in order to make you look for breeding partners outside your own family.

This is a mechanism that is built right into almost every one of us! In fact, it's come about because of evolution. We've actually evolved that system in order to create as much diversity within humans as possible. This is how we've been so successful as a species for so long.

Your friend has this exact, same mechanism built into her. She couldn't imagine kissing her brother, and guess what she sees you as now? Yep - her brother!

This is why you NEVER, EVER want to do what you've done here - to become her friend. Do me a favor and go to my website (http://beingaman.com) and click on BAM TV. There, you'll find a video on "Friends". Watch it before you read any further. You're going to need the information to continue. Go do it right now.

Ok, did you watch the video? Do you see now why what you've done is going to kill off your chances with this girl? Also at my website, you'll find a link to "Self help". In there, you'll find my FAQ's and within them you'll find information on how to turn a girl-friend into a girlfriend. Go read the articles it points you to.

Just be aware that you have almost no chance with this girl. I'm sorry Nick, that's the way it is. This isn't my rule, it was here long before I arrived.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"