Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 11/19/2007

Question
I'm single, in my late 30's, and have a high paying job.  I'm healthy,  in good shape,  and have been told I'm quite good-looking.  

The problem:  I've never had any success with women,  and have only had a few relationships in the past.  I've become very bitter,  and have pretty much shut women out of my life completely.  I no longer flirt or smile at them,  and usually ignore them completely. I come across as being arrogent,  conceited, stand-offish and cold.

I KNOW I need to change my attitude,  but I just can't seem to turn it around.  Would hypno-therapy help me?

Answer
Hello Richard!

Hypnotherapy can be a very powerful way to change deep-seated habits like this; and let's be clear here, this is only a habit.

Consider this: if you spend just 51% of your time on negative thoughts, you have enough to begin covering all the positive ones. (I'm not talking about traditional positive thinking like "You can do it, Richard!" I'm talking about images of success with women and of fun, happy and enjoyable things.) You begin by covering up only 1% and then 2% and then 4%, 8%, 16...etc., until you have nothing but negativity - and it all began with just 1% difference!

Likewise, by just turning that around a little to 51% positive images, words, experiences, etc., you'll begin to change; albeit very slowly.

Hypnosis has one main advantage in this sort of situation - it can "punch through" the emotional barriers we all have in our minds and implant some very powerful messages very quickly. Instead of getting 51% working on positive messages over the next 2-3 months, it can give you two things within a few weeks:

1) The suggestion that only positive messages will be considered by your mind and the rest ignored (a critical part of the process); and,
2) A flood of instant, positive, powerful messages related directly to your goals

...all in the timeframe of a hour and maybe 2-3 sessions!

I definitily believe in hypnosis for this sort of thing, but keep in mind that you also have to change your environment right along with this. You have a ton of "triggers" and "anchors" all around you that you've created that set-off these negative images. If you do nothing to either remove or reframe them, they'll continue to set-off those same negative responses, thus fighting your positive ones.

In my second book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World II" I talk about how to use "reframes", "triggers" and "anchors" to create very powerful emotions in women very quickly. Frankly, I think just this piece of information is well worth the cost of the book alone! Just imagine how incredible it would be to be able to turn your girlfriend's crappy mood around into a loving one with just a single touch!

These are very powerful tools Richard and I encourage you to learn and use them. You have to help your hypnotherapist along here however by getting the sessions when they are recommended (time is a factor between sessions) and changing your environment such that you eliminate - or reframe - those triggers that recreate the negative habits you're trying to eliminate.

If you're in the Los Angeles area, let me know and I'll refer you to a hypnotherapist I trust that is really great with this sort of thing.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"