Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/4/2007

Question
Okay, I've run into a cute girl, a nice one too, and wanted so bad to ask her out though without getting the guts to do it. This has happened with a couple past girls, over the past couple years, who actually worked at the same local video store.

I did get the guts to ask one girl out, she worked at a local xeroxing store, as I walked out I gave her a paper that I had written a little note/letter on, leaving my number along with asking her out basically. She never called. So, I at least guts'd it out to go that far. Yeah, I guess I "did it all wrong". So what's the RIGHT way?

I don't have time to be referred to other websites or purchasing books or anything like that, sorry. I am simply asking for a quick bit of advice on this new "potential".

The other day I came across a girl at the local video store, I hadn't seen her. I opened up and asked, "have you worked here long?" She was open, carried on small talk. I was genuinely interested, found out she's a junior in college, studying religion/history (not in a "religious" way, in a "it's effect on our society" way). Anyway...

She seems like potential for a great match, though I'm in a tricky spot... I can always work up the guts to take it the next step but the trick is *how* to do is *successfully*.

Another thing, I'm working on my Ph.D., she's doing her Bachelors. While she's a junior (probably 20 or 21, unless she took a break, making her older), I'm loaded with degrees and obviously that puts me about 9 or 10 years older. People say age isn't so big a deal as both people get older though it's borderline here, if not beyond (I would fear she would think). Honestly, I am - obviously - okay with it. She might not be; or I simply don't know how to help her put the age aside.

I have this in mind so far, please tell me if I should do it totally different or change this/that...

Next time I'm at the video store (when she's there), approach her and do small talk, ask how the religion/history classes are going.

(Transition to asking her out? I don't know how to transition that.)

Asking her out, I'm assuming being direct is good:
Something like, "I should have an evening off this week and would like to treat you to dinner, a casual date, my treat." (get pen/paper ready for her) "Jot your number down, I can give you a call, fill you in on some restaurants I have in mind, and we can set up dinner for two. If time allows we can go for a walk at a park." (if she doesn't jot her # down, then jot my # down...) "Well, here's mine, give it some thought, then you call me, it'll be fun. Call me any time, today, tomorrow, the next day, early or late, but don't wait too long! I look forward to hearing from you." (...make my way out...) "Thanks! b'bye!"

Okay. So, how incredibly messed up is that?

How do I successfully get this girl to go out with me?

Thanks!


Answer
Hello Gabe!

You sent this question to me multiple times so I assume you've sent it to every other expert here.

I'll let them answer it for you.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"