Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 8/4/2007

Question
QUESTION: I am a 26 year old man looking to know what age group I should look into for dating? I have notice many women younger than me are far too immature and many other have no interest in me. Should guys date younger? I was a psych major in college so I know that there is a strong tendancy for that to be the case for a variety of reasons, but don't know what I should do. I tend not to believe that women mature quicker than men do despite that most women make that their most powerful arguement. lol. I'm not sure what age I should best date. Thanks.

ANSWER: Hello James!

I agree with you - women do NOT mature quicker than men. Girls (pre-puberty) do, but not adults, and there are many reasons for this.

I'd suggest you take yourself out of the age issue and instead start looking at women for how they match your goals. You may find that women in their 30's are a better match than either girls your age or younger. Age really *is* a number!

The first important key however is to have those relationship goals clearly defined - and written on paper. There's somnething magical about the process of creating these goals as it helps to focus your mind on what you're looking for, what's really important and what's not.

After you do this exercise, you can then start looking at women based on your needs and how they fit. Small issues won't affect you as much, but big ones will stand out. A woman's age doesn't have much importance here at all when you look at things from this angle.

I'd also suggest that you download (free) my "Rating Instrument" from the beingaman.com website. It'll help you to really drill down on these issues with women you want to get to know better and will even help you evaluate your goals.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: All the females I have asked (and one gay guy) said that women do in fact mature sooner. I've found no exception. If it bothered me to a great degree, how could I find a good exception? lol
ANSWER: Hello again James!

Are you trying to do your thesis on this subject? If so, you stop asking rank amatures and go to experts for your information.

James, there are a TON of misconceptions that we all live with every single day. Here's just a few of them:

* It's a "man's world" today.
* Women are "equals" and thus, should pay for dates.
* Global warming is a fact.
* Women are better multi-taskers than men are.
* Men earn more than women.
* You need to drink 8 glasses of water a day.
* Marriage makes a relationship better.
* Women mature faster than men.

I'll bet that at least a few of those are very hard to accept as being misconceptions, but in fact, they are. You can either take your education from the mass-mindset or you can find out the realities and respond to them as they are.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: How can you say that men don't earn more than women? This is clearly something that can be proven, and often times is. And global warming is something that the experts, not popular culture pushes. Popular culture is interested in who Paris Hilton is making videos with next. lol. How can you be sure that global warming doesn't occur? It's a theory that exists for more than just Al Gore's sake. lol. I've also heard of global cooling, and the earth's magnetism flipping poles every few thousand years. The proof is in the pudding of course, but if the term global warming exists, I'm sure there is a reasonable reason for it.

Answer
Hey James!

I'm glad this isn't a private exchange as I think many people will benefit from reading this. Sorry it's so long, but, then, you asked!

I wouldn't be so hasty to assume that reasonable reasons exist for any of these things. In fact, you're going to find that they don't if you look accurately enough.

Let's deal with the wage gap issue first (women earn less than men.) In fact, this is a fallacy. I am a business owner and I employ both men and women. Now, consider this: if I could pay women less for the same work, why would I ever hire a man? Do you think the "good old boy's network" (another fallacy) is stronger than my profit motive? Let me assure you, that's not the case; nor is it so with the hundreds upon hundreds of employers I deal with through my commission, as I'm Vice Chairman of the Los Angeles County Workforce Investment Board. Also important: it's illegal.

Depending on what you read, so called "experts" (acutally "pundits" is more accurate) place the wage disparency anywhere between $0.11 and $0.50 per dollar. However, this figure never takes into account some very important facts:

1) When two equally-qualified people start working for a company (at the same rate, I might add), they both continue to grow at the same rates, their wages match exactly. However, if the woman then leaves that job to start a family, she stops gaining tenure and experience. When she re-enters the workplace, her wages aren't adjusted by time - they are adjusted by tenure and thus, she earns less than the original guy simply by being out of the workpace and missing the experience and growth of her position. Employers pay by value, not sex.

2) Women often choose greater flexibility in work over pay. For instance, women often care for sick children, parents, etc. They want to be able to move if their husband's jobs move, and the like. Employers pay by contribution, not simply presence.

3) Men are far more likely to accept jobs that are dangrous and thus carry greater pay. Employers pay by "market rate" considerations: what it takes to get someone to do a job. It's not hard to find clerical people, it is hard to find qualified, underwater welders.

4) Women are far less likely to accept assignments that involve travel, overtime and other elevated-responsibility positions, which also offer greater pay. Employers pay by return. When it's necessary to seek business outside of the local reach of a company, they grow outside it - and so do the positions involved in doing so.

5) In fact, there are many industries where women actually earn MORE than men (what? how can THAT be???) It's true. Take teaching, nanny-care, nursing and porn as just a few examples of many. Women earn far more here than men do.

6) A female investment banker's starting salary is 116% of what starting males earn.

7) Women are 15 times as likely today as men to become top executives at major corporations before the age of 40.

8) Women represent the largest chuck of the fastest-growing segment of busines today: the home-based business. Likewise, there are tons and tons of women-only business organizations (technically, illegal) but NOT ONE male-only business organization.

9) Women are 3 times more likely to be accepted in universities as men. The graduating classes of the last 5 years have started at 60% female graduates and this number continues to grow 3% per year.

So, why do we continue to hear that there's a wage gap? Simple: it sells newspapers, magazines, movies and television shows. These are actually very-well documented facts, but you likely haven't heard them through any media source simply because it's not popular to say them. For much more on this check out the book by William Farrell", (one of the original founders of the National Organization of Women [NOW]), "Why Men Earn More".

Do you remember all the other "crisises" issues we've had over just the past few years? In the 70's it was feared that we were entering a new ice age and scientists all over the globe came out to decry pollution as it's source. In the 80's and 90's it was predicted that by the turn of the century, fully 1/3 of the human population would be infected with the AIDS virus. In the early 2000's it was Avian Flu and Mad Cow Disease. Now, it's global warming. To wit:

Myth #1: The current rise in greenhouse gasses are caused by human activity.

Fact #1: Ice core records from the past 650,000 years show that temperature increases have PRECEDED, NOT RESULTED FROM increases in CO2 by hundreds of years, suggesting that the warming of the oceans is an important source of the rise in atmospheric CO2. As the dominant greenhouse gas, water vapor is far, far more important than CO2. Dire predictions of future warming are based almost entirely on computer climate models, yet these models do not accurately understand the role or water vapor; and, in any case, water vapor is not within our control. Plus, computer models cannot account for the observed cooling of much of the past century (1940–75), nor for the observed patterns of warming “fingerprints.”

For example, the Antarctic is cooling while models predict warming. And where the models call for the middle atmosphere to warm faster than the surface, the observations show the exact opposite.

The best evidence supporting natural causes of temperature fluctuations are the changes in cloudiness, which correspond strongly with regular variations in solar activity. The current warming is likely part of a natural cycle of climate warming and cooling that’s been traced back almost a million years. It accounts for the Medieval Warm Period around 1100 A.D., when the Vikings settled Greenland and grew crops, and the Little Ice Age, from about 1400 to 1850 A.D., which brought severe winters and cold summers to Europe, with failed harvests, starvation, disease, and general misery. Attempts have been made to claim that the current warming is “unusual” using spurious analysis of tree rings and other proxy data. Advocates have tried to deny the existence of these historic climate swings and claim that the current warming is "unusual" by using spurious analysis of tree rings and other proxy data, resulting in the famous “hockey–stick” temperature graph. The hockey-stick graph has now been thoroughly discredited.

Myth #2: We can prevent global warming.

Fact #2: No, we can't. These fluctuations in temprature are natural (according to climate records created from ice-core samples.) We cannot control the inconstant sun, the likely origin of most climate variability. None of the schemes for greenhouse gas reduction currently bandied about will do any good; they are all irrelevant, useless, and wildly expensive:

• Control of CO2 emissions, whether by rationing or elaborate cap–and–trade schemes
• Uneconomic “alternative” energy, such as ethanol and the impractical “hydrogen economy”
• Massive installations of wind turbines and solar collectors
• Proposed projects for the sequestration of CO2 from smokestacks or even from the atmosphere  

Ironically, even if CO2 were responsible for the observed warming trend, all these schemes would be ineffective—unless we could persuade every nation, including China, to cut fuel use by 80 percent!

Myth #3: A warmer climate has been proved to produce a negative impact on life and the planet.

Fact #3: The much–feared rise in sea levels does not seem to depend on short–term temperature changes, as the rate of sea–level increases has been steady since the last ice age, 10,000 years ago. In fact, many economists argue that the opposite is more likely — that warming produces a net benefit, that it increases incomes and standards of living. Why do we assume that the present climate is the optimum? Surely, the chance of this must be vanishingly small, and the economic history of past climate warmings bear this out.

Be careful what you accept as real my brother.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"