Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 1/8/2007

Question
My ex and I only dated for a month and a half and I broke it off because she said she needed her space so I gave it to her.  For the next two months we stayed "just friends" even though I was still staying over night at her place and wherever we went she always introduced me as just her friend and it was killing me and driving me nuts.  Now to bring Michael into the picture...He would be her ex before me....He cheated on her and told her 3 months later and they had a pretty serious relationship for being together for almost a year....she was waiting for him to pop the question and was trying to get pregnant.  Now after they broke up her and I moved pretty fast and i feel that i was the rebound even though she says that she doesn't know what she wants I'm moving away and now she's practically back together with her ex.  I just want to be in control again and make her miss me.  I think I know how I just want a little bit of advice to be safe.  I screwed up and now she's going back to her ex who treated her like shit but he was her first love and he's got her wrapped around his finger.  I know he cheated on her more than once and she doesn't belive me because I'm being bias.  In a way I don't want her back just want to make her miss me.  So please any advice that you can give would be great thank you.  If you have any other questions you can just e-mail me.

Answer
Hello Andrew!

This situation is totally screwed up! Let me answer your question, but I have an opinion on all of this.

If you want her to miss you, you need to totally move on and start dating other women right away. That's your key. Forget this girl and don't even give her another though - just move on. This is going to help you in many more ways that one.

This girl is totally fucked up! What is it that you think you're gaining by spending even one second of your valuable time on her? There's nothing about this girl or her supposed "relationships" that seem healthy. She doesn't know what she wants and doesn't even care enough about her unborn child to want things stable before she brings it into the world. Just as bad, she doesn't even seem to care who the father is!

Andrew, please don't waste your time. You deserve so much better and you less yourself by even considering anything with such a person.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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