Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/1/2007

Question
ok my girlfriend thinks i like her old friend...but i dont at all...she wants me to stop talking to her and i said i would, she doesnt believe me idk why, shes been mad at me and i really want some help on trying to get her back...she broke up w/ me two days ago because we got in a fight and i cussed at her, but she was also all over one of my enemies...we both messed up that night, me and her are on and off alot...please help me..shes the world to me and i really really want to make things right...its been a couple days and i already miss her a lot, i know i should stop talking to her old friend who keeps telling me to not go back out with her, people say shes liking me these days but i dont think its true...i really want my girlfriend back....help!

Answer
Hello Gianni!

I don't think you and I agree on exactly what the problem here is. You think it's your fault that all this happened. I think it's all your girlfriend's fault.

First of all, that thing about the old friend is just misdirection. It's a convenient excuse and nothing more. You (obviuosly) told her that you had no interest but she wouldn't hear it - because she didn't WANT to hear it.

With regards to the fight you had, you cussed at her - big fucking deal!!!  ;)

On the other hand, she was flirting with your enemy? How disrespectful is that? (Answer: WAY, WAY disrespectful - to you AND your relationship).

All this tells me that she doesn't want the relationship and is looking for a way to end it. She's just too big a coward to say it to your face so she's creating problems that don't exist.

I suggest you first decide whether you really want this girl in your life or not. Frankly, I wouldn't, but then, I don't have to date her - you do. If you think you're worth much more (I do!) then just kick her to the curb and go snuggle up to the first cute girl that walks by.

If you don't agree, contact her and just say, "This is ridiculous. Not only did I do nothing wrong, but YOU did EVERYTHING wrong. I'm going to give you one more chance, but you've got a lot of growing to do very quickly. If you can't do that, I'm gone."


Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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