Expert: PracticalHappiness.com - 1/8/2007

Question
Get back with her.
-------------------------------------------
The text above is a follow-up to ...

-----Question-----

-------------------------------------------
The text above is a follow-up to ...

-----Question-----
Hi,
I was in a relationship for a year with a woman that has broken up with me 3 times, I have broken up with her twice.
we've never had violent or verbally disrespectful arguments or any indiscretions, we just had some personality conflicts.
She has trouble showing her deep feelings,she thinks it's weak,me I am very in touch with my emotions.
I used to joke that our roles were reversed & that she was the strong silent type and I was the emotional one.
we are both in our late 40's she broke up with me this time because she had expectations that I did not meet,but the problem is she did not bother expressing these expectations to me. anyway I love her and am trying to get her back with no luck, we did meet a few weeks ago and had sex but I want more.
Part of me feels my wanting her back is fueled by ego as well as rejection but I am miserable without her and just can't get over it.
It's been about a month now but I still have pain.
Any advice?
Thank you.
-----Answer-----
Hey, Cody. Thanks for your question. Before I can answer it, I need to clarify two things:

1. What were exactly the personality conflicts that put you apart?

2. What would you like advice on - on trying to get her back or moving on and forgetting about her?  

Please let me know, and I will follow up.

Arkady Itkin
www.PracticalHappiness.com   

The personality conflicts involved her 5 yr old son who was an attention junkie and if he did not recieve attention at all times he'd have meltdown.
it was so bad at times that we'd have to sneak into her bedroom to be alone long after his bedtime,if we ever shut the door  he would bang on it somtimes at 3am screaming until she would respond by taking him to the living room allowing him to run her until he decided to go bk. to bed.
After about 3 or 4 of these outbursts I said something to the effect of why do you let him run you? and then we would have a disagreement until I finally ended up leaving.
Me and the boy got along  but on his terms,he always ruined time alone for us even hrs after his bedtime and she is blinded by this  I always was the bad guy .
yes I would like to get back with her but I wonder if that is just due to the rejection I feel.
We've had other issues where she wanted me to move in and I felt that it would be better if we waited.
Due to her sons problems ,I did not come over as often as she would have liked.

-----Answer-----
Ok, I understand. So... what would you like to do now? To get back with her or to get over her?  

Arkady

Answer
Hey, Cody. Did you try calling her and having a normal, calm conversation with her, explaining to her how you feel about her and letting her know that you are willing to work with her to overcome the obstacles you guys have toward each other?

Also, stop for a moment and think about this: why is it that you want to be with her? What is so special about her for you - physical attraction, chemistry, her personality, face?  

Let me know so that we can get to the bottom of this.

Arkady Itkin
www.PracticalHappiness.com