Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/23/2006

Question
I have been IMing and e-mailing with a woman for quite a few months now.  She seems like an amazing lady and someone I would like to get to know better.  She is currently single.  We e-mail alot and have talked on the phone several times.  We had made plans to meet a while back but she didn't show up.  She seems receptive to us meeting but it just hasn't happened.  I wonder if you have any idea why she may be holding out or advice for me to get to the next step with her.  Appreicate your help !!

Answer
Hello Joe!

Hold on a moment. You had plans to meet, she didn't show, and you still are in contact with her? What in the hell are you thinking?

Don't you think that not showing is just the least bit rude? I sure do. In fact, I think it's a hellova lot more than that!

Frankly, I'd hold her feet to the fire by first, stopping all the IM'ing and emailing. Tell her that either she wants to meet you or she doesn't. If she doesn't, that's her tough luck!  NEXT!

Joe, the only reason why this is going on is that you've allowed it. You appear far too afraid of losing her for your own good. You can't raise her interest level in her if you continue to chase her. Either you have to build enough rapport and connection - which can only be done in person, not via email or IM's - or she has to otherwise be so motivated as to want to chase you. If this can't happen, you're just wasting your valuable time with this chick.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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