Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/29/2006

Question
So I did what you said and this is how it turned out.
I said:
"So the prison was interesting you missed out on a good time! sucks I could'nt go with you guys tonight, but I really enjoyed talking with you the other two nights and I wanted to take you out tomorrow. so let me know, cya around"

I went on a halloween thing so thats what the prison thing is, in return I recieved this from her
She said:
"hey... really enjoyed talking with you as well, glad you had fun last night... you missed an exciting time shopping and eating tho. As for the taking me out thing, I am going to have to decline for today, I am heading to pennsylvania to spend the day with my sister. Maybe we can go out one night this week... grab some dinner or something... let me know... I'm up for anything."
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The text above is a follow-up to ...

-----Question-----
Recently I was introduced to my boyfriends girlfriends friend one night while watching a pay per view event. Me and her friend instantly got into chat laughing and joking around while drinking so the conversation just flowed as the alcohol started to hit us. we ended the night normal nothing to give a hint of anything. The next day we all go out to a dinner we had some casual conversation nothing special since there was a bunch of us this time.

I was able to find her on an Internet social network called myspace and we went back and forth with some messages and she just contacted me through im which our first chat was like the usual with both of us asking questions.

I guess my question is, I am 23 and she is 28 so I guess im a little intimidated by that but I was wondering what my plan of action should be to go out on a date and maybe to progress it into possibly a relationship?

any help would be appreciated
-----Answer-----
Hello Tony!

First of all, here's what you DON'T want to do: continue trying to hold dates on the phone, IM or via the Internet. This is a sure way to prevent things from going futher. There are so many reasons for this, but suffice it to say that these things are only for SETTING dates, not holding them.

What you should do is to build on your previous experience with this girl. Just contact her and say, "I really enjoyed talking to you the other night. Let's get together this weekend and do it again. Clear your Friday night [or whenever] and I'll pick you up..."

It's really that simple! Notice how I didn't ask her, I told her? You don't want to say, "Are you free this weekend?" This makes her imply that she doesn't have anything else going on and no woman wants you to thnik that. Also, be absolutely clear about things and don't call to confirm or let her say, "Well, call me that day and we'll see."

Don't worry about the age difference. This is absolutely a non-issue for her OR you. Trust me, it's only as important as YOU want to make it.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"

Answer
Hello again Tony!

No, you didn't do what I said. You asked her instead of telling her what you wanted.

If there was only one trick I could teach guys it would be this one: never ask. Try that some time this week and see how well it works out.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"