Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 12/31/2006

Question
Well theres this girl that I really like.  Every time I see her in the hallways we always say hi.  Me and her have been to a couple movies together, and we are always going to local band shows together.  But they have all been just as friends.  But lately I have got this feeling that I want to be more than friends.  I've been trying to figure out if she is interested in being more than a friend with me, but I can't tell.  I was wondering what would be the best way to go about asking her out????

thanks,
        Marc

Answer
Hello Marc!

First, sorry for the late reply. I've had system-down problems over the holidays and am only now getting back up and running.

There are two issues here: asking her out, and ending the "friendship".

First, let's talk about the friendship. You absolutely DO NOT want to be her "friend". This is the coward's way out - and she knows it! Many guys try to do this (I call it trying to "work it from the inside") where they won't make the moves they should and hope that she'll do all the work for them, eliminating any risk he'd have to take. Sorry Marc, it doesn't work that way!

Here's what you should do: go up to her and say, "Ok, clear Friday night. I'm going to pick you up at 8 and we're going out." Do it just like that - don't ask her, tell her.

Second, the instant you see her, walk right up to her gently take her by the arms and kiss her right on the lips. Don't give her a "peck", kiss her like you mean it - not sloppy, but sensual. Make it last just a little too long. Then, step back and act like nothing happened! Say "hi" and go on your date! I guarrantee that once you get this first kiss out of the way, the rest of the "date" will be just that - a date, not a couple of buddies getting together.

I know this takes some balls, but trust me, it's as close to a sure-thing as you'll ever get! Her head will be spinning!

Finally, stop doing the movie-date. Do something romantic like a picnic or a nice walk. Don't take her somewhere that you can't talk to her. Spend some time really getting to know HER. Get her talking about herself - women love this.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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