Expert: PracticalHappiness.com - 2/25/2007

Question
hi-I am not sure how things differ in realtionships in the united states- but maybe in the uk it is different?
unlike most of the ppl who write in i dont know girls or women as they are called and i did question this before but the expert couldnt answer the question .
Now i am in early twenties -i go to the gym regualr and i am reasonably nice looking an clever.But my question is why wont any women -or girls even speak to me or even try to converse in any way or from with me?
Here is some information that may help-I havent had a partner for years and the last time i remember speeking to a girl-woman -was around when i left seconday school=
Now it annoys me as i see others and i wonder how did they do it? -but i am quiet  -but i will chat if anyone speeks first or seems ok.I have tried to explain why no girls or women around my age ever want to chat or even say anything to is a mystery -it is as if i had done something wrong ect-But i mean this unlike any other person -i have never had a real partner and i am very dissipointed becasue i tried -but i just cant click with anyone and it make me belive that there is no match for me at least in the whole of europe.I have went on various trips when i was younger and even recently -but To this day i cant understand why no girls around my age wont even try to chat or even say anything=it seems to me they would rather avoid speeking to me.I also noticed this when i went on hoildays to various parts of europe-they seem to avoid me and in such cases leave the room if its just me and them in it.I have geniunely went on at least 5 hoildays within the last years or so and i can saftley say i have not spoken to any female of any age or nationality.I bet this may be common maybe in united states but it doesnt seem common to me in the uk as there are many girls-but i mean this when i say it no girls of any age or nationality have spoke to me in at least the last 5 or so years -It annoys me becasue i would like a partner and i wish some girl-woman would give me a chance to actually talk to them.I cant explain this and maybe you could and confirm that this is common .With no experience in talking to girls at all -i can no longer even try becasue it has reduced my confidence and made me realise that no girls -women around my age -let alone any age -will even try to like me -or even talk to me. As a result i know no girls of any age let alone around my won age.I wouldnt mind if any girl tryed to chat to me but i can no longer try as i know that nothing will happen -The past few years confirmed to me that it is possible to not chat to any girls at all -even though i wish i could .
Now I would like you to have a solution or some advice to maybe help me understand why this is. Thanks

Answer
Hi, Jack. Thanks for your question.  I believe you are on the road toward success in this area of your life because you made the first and very important step - you recognize you have an issue and you want to do something about it.

First, you CANNOT expect women to come and talk to you. It's YOUR JOB AND YOUR PLACE AS A MAN. Whether it's in UK, in the US or anywhere else - unless you are in some third world country, where women would do anything to get out of there, it will be you, who will have to make a move. The most a woman will do is making an eye contact and smiling at you, but even that isn't quite that common.  

You have to talk first!!!! A woman will not start a conversation first, even if you are drop-dead gorgeous and even if she is super interested. She wants you to talk to her.  

I think it's way too early for you to conclude about the entire Europe that there is no woman for you. How many have you met so far in your life? 5? 10 women? Can you really judge all millions of them based on your limited experience? I suggest that you don't!  

I understand how this experience and line of thinking can take your confidence down and it needs to be restored - gradually but the right away. Real issues need real solutions. I suggest one great way for you to start building a successful dating life for yourself
go to my site www.PracticalHappiness.com and learn about my work. Listen to free dating tips in the "free advice" section, read my blog and then go to "Powerful Pick-Up" audio program. This best-selling audio guide has helped 100's of men like you all over the world by giving specific and very practical advice on how to learn how to approach, meet and attract women.  
You can either purchase it as a hard CD with 30 day money back guarantee by the publisher or - even better - you can download the program for immediate listening for even lower price.  

Check it out and it will put a solid foundation toward restoring your confidence.

Please feel free to follow up with any questions. And if you found my answer helpful, please rate me on this site and comment on my work.

Arkady Itkin
www.PracticalHappiness.com