Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 12/26/2006

Question
Hi there,
        My name is Matt and I am in the Navy. I was just dropping by to ask a serious question about how to attract a very beautiful woman. I live in San Diego and there are a lot of beautiful women here,but, I am very shy and there are times where i see women that are out of my league and wonder if maybe? I was just wondering if there is some way that I could do to make them notice me and find me attractive even though I may not be model looking.

Answer
Hello Matthew!

Abso-freakin'-lutely!!!! Your looks have almost nothing whatsoever to do with the women that you date!

You're starting off with a mistake. You believe that in order to attract very beautiful women, you have to be equally good looking. Not so. Let me give you a short list of examples from music:

CARMEN ELECTRA & DAVE NAVARRO
HEATHER LOCKLEAR & TOMMY LEE & RICHIE SAMBORA
PAMELA ANDERSON & TOMMY LEE & KID ROCK
KATE HUDSON & CHRIS ROBINSON
SHANNA MOAKLER & TRAVIS BARKER
CHRISTIE BRINKLEY & BILLY JOEL
DITA VON TEESE & MARILYN MANSON
AVRIL LAVIGNE & DERYCK WHIBLEY
PAULINA PORIZKOVA & RIC OCASEK
HEIDI KLUM & SEAL
SHANNON TWEED & GENE SIMMONS
LIV TYLER & ROYSTON LANGDON
JERRY HALL & MICK JAGGER
RACHEL HUNTER & ROD STEWART
DONNA D'ERRICO & NIKKI SIXX
GWYNETH PALTROW & CHRIS MARTIN

In general, these guys aren't "beautiful" by any stretch, but their wives are all considered "10's". Now, you may be trying to excuse this away by saying "Well, their famous! I'm not!" No, you're not, but that's not the point. I'm using these examples simply because you'll know them. They're famous not because of who they married, or being rock stars (there are TONS of musicians that aren't famous!) It's because of their "power". Read on.

Just because looks are important to YOU means nothing. Women have different motivations than men and trying to impose your wants on women will get you nowhere.

So, the question then is: what do I have to do/know/be/say in order to attract beautiful women?

While there are many sub-categories of things that women want in men, I'd boil it down to one thing that is the most important: power. Power expresses itself in a number of ways; confidence, sense of humor, money and many others. The more of these you can express outwardly, the more you'll attract the women you seek.

Women report that the very first thing they notice about men (besides their height and then their eyes) is their shoes. If your shoes are in good shape, it says that you must be "in good shape" too. The second thing they notice is your watch. Beyond these things, your confidence starts to come through.

Note that women often report sense of humor as the most important aspect, but sense of humor and confidence are really one in the same! You have to have confidence in order to be comfortable putting yourself out there to tell jokes or cut-up without fear of failure. Thus, focusing on confidence is the better choice.

In my second book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World II"; I talk about the "seduction tree". This is the key to meeting and winning the most desirable women. It works like this:

Power <-----> Confidence
        ^
        |
        V
Humor <-----> Cockiness

What does all this mean? Simple: you gain power via a number of ways including the ones I've already mentioned. Through this you create confidence. You also show power via confidence.

Next, you learn humor - that is, how to be funny (and yes, you CAN learn this!) Then, express it via cockiness which increases your "sense of humor" factor. In other words, these things all work together to build each other - and thus, your "desirability" in the eyes of women!

Stop limiting yourself by thinking your looks have anything to do with which women you date. It's your power that makes that determination. Learn power and you can look like Ric Ocasek (google him if you need) and hang with the most beautiful women.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"