Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 9/26/2006

Question
Hello Dr. Neder,

Thank you very much for your advice, but it isn't a celebrity, lol.  It's a regular person.  I say I will never meet him because I'm afraid to approach him.  I want to write a letter to him because I'm not very good with talking to someone I like face to face.  

Followup To:

Question -
Hi,

I have a crush on someone, but I don't know how to deal with it.  I know that I may NEVER get a chance to talk to them, meet them or anything of that sort.  I would like to write them a letter, to see if I can get noticed, but I don't know where to begin.  Can you help me with this?  I can't stop thinking about this man.  I would do anything to meet him.

Answer -
Hello Lenora!

I get the feeling that you're talking about a celebrity here, and let me assure you - celebrities have multiple layers of defense to PREVENT you from getting to that person.

Letters are rarely seen by the celebrity and they usually have staff that open and respond to these letters.

Even more important, if this IS the case, you've got an even harder problem - you're interested in someone you don't even know. In effect, you're interested in a "character" of the person - not the person themselves.

Even I do this when I appear on radio and TV - I'm not the same guy you see or hear! This isn't exactly "acting", but it's like it. When I get hate mail from angry readers, I know that they aren't angry with me - they don't even know me! They're angry - or in love with - the IMAGE I project, not me specifically.

Celebrities do this too. Even if you were to write to someone they wouldn't even believe you were interested in "them" because they know you don't even know who "they" are!

If you still don't beleve me and still want to try to contact this person, here's a website where you can find that person's mailing address: http://contactanycelebrity.com.

Don't say I didn't warn you!

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"

Answer
Hello again Lenora!

Well, you know what they say - if you want good answers, be able to ask good questions!

I don't think the letter thing is a very good idea. You're likely to just blow him out of the water! But, if you must, I'd just say something like this:

If you weren't you, but you were someone else, what would you do to meet yourself?

It's something of a funny opening and might just get him to do the work for you.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
www.beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"